December 9, 2021

...

(D went to commissary (let me come along, I admit I didn't want to go or stay) I got tired (got no sleep, just too overwhelmed to move) and had to lie down until it got dark - missed bringing in what we brought, I tell D I couldn't bring much in, D checks truck and doesn't find anything

(M upset with me for having phone with me 'all the time', I can't tell her it's because I'm scared of things getting violent (want to at least record if not call for help - no one to call because racism) because she'd just get mad/insulted about "we're not that bad" and dare me to leave)

[M: I want to talk to you- your daughter is afraid to tell you she didn't bring in what you got at the store
D: WELL, HELL I CAN'T FIND IT!!
M: well, your daughter is intimidated by you being upset]

(D made beans and sausages (M upset D 'forgot about' vegetables) - my stomach is empty and I need to take medicine but I'm too afraid to go get any (would probably be called ungrateful) (D in back room now and got himself safely away from any 'owning up to' having disturbed J

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