Three Crucial Words to Care for Others Well

One-on-one, directive discipleship is not simple or easy, which may explain why folks do not participate in this type of interactive Christianity. Most Christians prefer a passive approach to discipleship, which could include preaching, teaching, Bible studies, and reading a book.

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But when Paul discipled Timothy, it was a different animal, that required gifting and practice. Of course, the "practice part" is a struggle for many. They had rather be good at it without practicing to be good at it. This perspective is not how you become proficient at anything, and you will never be a reliable discipler if you don't spend many hours swimming in those waters.

Things We Teach

Three of the essential qualities and characteristics of excellent disciple-makers are compassion, competence, and courage. Let's take a look at those vital concepts more closely.

1. Compassion understands that the person you're talking to is no better or worse than you are. Apart from God's intervening grace, we're "totally depraved" and have no advantage over anyone. The ground around the cross is level. A proud (e.g., harsh) or fearful spirit when caring for someone will not go well.

2. Competence comes from your God-given ability, trust in the Spirit's enabling, prayer, and "getting your reps in" (constant practice). Yes, you can sit-in and observe a seasoned discipler, but like playing the piano, you won't learn by watching. You must actively participate in the thing you want to learn.

3. Courage is the grace-empowered favor from the Lord to speak the truth in love. There are times when you have to say firm and challenging things. You don't have to do this all the time, but when it's appropriate, you must be Christlike in this matter, which means you will do the hard thing.

Two Out of Three Is Bad

As you probably know, two out of three of these qualities can send you to some wrong places, as well as hurt those within your care.

1. Compassion without courage turns to unbiblical mercy. It feels kind initially, but without substantial soul care, it's not. You weep with those who mourn, but you must lead them to a better place, which takes firmness.

2. Competence without compassion turns to harshness. We have too many illustrations of where this has happened. Perhaps you're one of those who was on the receiving in of mean-spirited soul care.

3. Courage without competence or compassion turns into ignorant and uncaring soul care practices. God leads us into the truth with an eye on our frames, knowing that we are weak and vulnerable.

You can put any two of these characteristics together and see how things could go badly.

All Three Are Good

1. Compassion understands the person but does not "over-empathize" to the point where there is no directive care.

2. Competence perceives the behavior, the heart, the situation, and all the people involved.

3. Courage is a desire to spread God's fame by being biblical strength to the individual.

If you want to learn how to counsel according to your capacity, I recommend that you check out our training program. You can do it all online, and we walk with you—as your coaches—throughout the program. Learn More Here: http://bit.ly/2u2oD25