Episode 16 - Your Young Adult: Collaborating

Our children, at any age, are always hoping to feel loved by us.

Receiving love from your mom and dad is a primary psychological drive. It’s a reason why psychologists are always trying to get you to straighten out your relationships with your parents.

As parents, let’s make sure we fulfill our role. It’s our unique opportunity.

COLLABORATING will help you stay in that role.

Thinking in terms of COLLABORATING with your young adults during their transition to independence helps shift the relationship to a life-long, loving, adult, relationship.

Because collaboration means both parties are working together towards a shared goal.

Collaboration is sometimes a style of approaching a conflict. It’s also a way of working towards shared goals.

Shifting to COLLABORATION is a BIG shift for most parents. We are deep into “control” or “advising”. Collaboration is a motif for building relationships while reaching shared goals.

“A summer job” is a shared goal when a parent is hoping their student will find a decent summer job. Hopefully, the student is a self-starter, but she might need some ideas, some transportation, some boundaries around hours, to cooperate with the family vacation, or so forth.

A tip for being a great collaborator is: to learn how to pursue an INTEREST instead of taking a POSITION.

Positions are the particular solution we propose; these serve a larger Interest. An Interest is the larger thing that you are trying to accomplish with your “position.”

Listen to the podcast episode to hear more about the what, why, and how of collaboration.

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