Freewill Is Real, But Its Also A Choice (Or, Freewill As A Waveform That Collapses Under Mischief)

Prepare for cringe, but keep in mind that I'm a Chicken Rancher, so its your fault if you set the bar for me too high.
Also, if I don't have free will, then technically none of this being cringe is my fault, as its all predetermined and baked into how the universe was always going to play out.