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What is your biggest turn off in social dancing?
what is your biggest turn off in social dancing?
For me it’s “dead eyes”. Dead, unengaged eyes. The look of somebody who is completely uninterested and completely bored with the dance. This can be very disheartening to your partner, if you visually look bored/apathetic/disinterested in the dance.
Backleading.
As either role, feeling their thumbs, esp if they’re squeezing. There are some handholds that allow for feeling thumbs, but the newbies squeeze. If you know, you know.
As a lead. It's very challenging when the follow has the tension and frame of a wet noodle. A great frame is light-medium with elasticity (think like a rubber band).
On the opposite end of the spectrum. The worst experience for followers is usually very soft leads. When there is zero tension or direction, and then follow is forced to back lead because they completely directionless otherwise.
Some of the best advice ive heard for followers is that. If a follower is not sure what the lead is asking, They should do nothing (or just continue to do the basic step). In a beginner class, if a lead doesn’t lead something clearly The follower should do nothing. If they lead feels like they need to tell the follower what she was “supposed” to do, very kindly say something along the lines of “then lead that. That’s your job, to learn to lead it without words”. If you are feeling more patient, say something less snarky like “Oh, I didn’t feel that lead.” Feel nothing, do nothing.
It's also challenging when the follow does so much flashy styling that it interferes with her timing/the lead. Less is usually more
Lack of spacial awareness. Everyone bumps into someone every now and then, but a lead who keeps trying to lead super showy moves on a crowded floor and keeps crashing me into other dancers is frustrating
Leaders trying to touch the followers face/head or pulling their head closer to theirs (and I don’t mean leading head rolls and such). This can feel way too intimate for some follows.
leaders who are significantly shorter than the follow who try dips or other styling that just doesn’t work with the height difference .
In salsa - the leaders who throw you around like a rag doll for the whole duration of the song. Non-stop spins and turns and tricks. And the whole time your arm is about to come out of its socket because they use so much force
Super advanced leaders who just do shines the whole time instead of leading and trying to create a good dance for the both the lead and follow.
when a leader does fancy move after fancy move without breaks, when they don't give proper signals/preparation, and when they blame you for not being able to do the move.
When Somebody is truly off beat, but they are blaming you and saying you are off beat.
Flirting or being overtly sexual during the dance. I don't mind flirting if it's done while we're standing on the side not dancing but during the dance, that's what I'm exclusively focused on.
Biggest turn-off: Poor attitude (e.g. no smiling/emoting, lack of eye contact, acting bored).
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