20 More Short Funny DAD JOKES & One Liners #43

#dadjokes #puns #oneliners

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1. There once was a King who was only 12 inches tall...
He was a terrible king, but an amazing ruler.
2. How much does a chimney cost?
Free. Its on the house.
3. My girlfriend got a face tattoo of her favorite star wars character
you should have seen the Luke on her face.
4. I met my wife on Tinder.
That was awkward.
5. My wife insulted me by saying I have no sense of direction.
So I just packed up and right.
6. Lance isn’t a popular male name these days.
But in medieval times, men were named Lance a lot.
7. What is the only fish made out of 2 sodium atoms?
2 Na.
8. What's the smallest kind of bear?
The bear minimum.
9. Poop jokes aren't my favorite type of jokes...
But they're a solid number 2.
10. I got a job at a farm but I resigned because they didn't have horses.
I wanted stable employment.
11. Man to Psychiatrist: I am depressed. All my four sons want to be valets when they grow up.
Psychiatrist: That is the strangest case of parking sons disease I have come across so far.
12. I’ve started telling people about the benefit of dried grapes.
It’s all about raisin awareness.
13. 9 months really isn't that long.
It just feels like a maternity.
14. My grandma is the opposite of tech savvy: it took her months to learn to use a mouse.
But then it finally clicked.
15. What is it called when a volcano can’t erupt?
Eruptile dysfunction.
16. When digging for gold or silver, sometimes you’ll encounter an obstacle that you didn’t expect.
Try not to get too frustrated. It’s only a miner inconvenience.
17. To the man in wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket:
You can hide, but you can't run!!!
18. My wife apologized for the first time ever today.
She said she's sorry she even married me.
19. Saw a guy walking around the Olympic village holding a nine foot stick. I asked, "Are you a pole vaulter?" He responded, "No, I'm German. And how did you know my name was Walter?"
20. How does a non-binary samurai kill people?
They / Them