Episode 14 - Your Young Adult: The Big Goal to Never Lose Sight Of

There’s a huge goal to never lose sight of when relating to your young adult! This huge goal is: to create a healthy and loving relationship with our adult children.

Our expectations of them can conflict with that goal. It’s human nature to focus on what’s NOT happening and to be impatient for what we think SHOULD be happening. We have expectations rooted in our own personal history. Let’s bear in mind that the culture is not what it used to be. Life’s path is less settled and predictable in terms of transitioning into independent adult roles. There’s also lots of brain maturation still happening into the late twenties.

As parents, we are transitioning from a role of control (as if we ever really had that!) to a relationship of mutual respect and influence. It’s up to us to model what mutual respect looks like. Our control of our children’s outcomes, meaning the “results” they get, was always limited. Most parents need to consciously move away from taking responsibility for the outcomes their children have. And to release control to them for their experiences of being happy in their circumstances.

At the same time, our kids will ping pong from wanting to be fully independent to wanting us to step in with advice and solutions. They are in a big transition (see episode 2) and need some space to start working it out.

What’s a story you have about successes or challenges in relating to your young adult children? We would love to hear from you!

Send a text to us at The Catholic Midlife podcast with your thoughts as you listen: 612-208-9150.

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