A Covid Prayer

I repent oh wise, Covidians.
See my shame and sincere wish to be cleansed of my unholy affliction.
Anoint my lips with sacred coverings.
Strike the cruel delusion of individualism from my mind and the self from my heart.

Quicken our paths toward absolute sanitization and purity as we offer sanctuary, total submission and devotion to the Truth.

Know our desire is only to be draped in sacred cloth for the rest of our days and to do onto our neighbor with equal grace. Silence the heresy of denialism and evil that threatens our Safety.

Thou hast given us access to the Way. We are unworthy of thine all knowing and we joyfully spread thy Word and denounce all heretics in Your name.

In thine infinite generosity thou has sworn to guide us on our path toward absolute sterile serenity and trust found only in the truth of social justice science.

May we be the vessel to fulfill thy desire to always publicly bare the holy burden of the N95 veil upon our faces, thereby holding thine sacred safe space.

For only thee are the Expert of Experts, keeper of the Academy, the Study and the Journal. And through thee we are the Ones we have been waiting for.

Yet. Hear us still, great Covidians! We humbly offer to be a tool for your great gloved hand as it lays waste upon the growing blasphemy of mask slippage.

Awoman.