Bradley R Wilcox | Worthiness Is Not Flawlessness | Oct 2021 General Conference | Faith To Act

Worthiness Is Not Flawlessness
By Bradley R. Wilcox

Second Counselor in the Young Men General Presidency

When you feel like you have failed too many times to keep trying, remember Christ’s Atonement and the grace it makes possible are real.

I once sent a message to my daughter and son-in-law using the voice-to-text feature on my phone. I said, “Hey, you two. Sure love you.” They received, “Hate you two. Should love you.” Isn’t it amazing how easily a positive and well-intentioned message can be misunderstood? This is what sometimes happens with God’s messages of repentance and worthiness.

Some mistakenly receive the message that repentance and change are unnecessary. God’s message is that they are essential.1 But doesn’t God love us despite our shortcomings? Of course! He loves us perfectly. I love my grandchildren, imperfections and all, but that does not mean I don’t want them to improve and become all they can become. God loves us as we are, but He also loves us too much to leave us this way.2 Growing up unto the Lord is what mortality is all about.3 Change is what Christ’s Atonement is all about. Not only can Christ resurrect, cleanse, console, and heal us, but through it all, He can transform us to become more like Him.4

Some mistakenly receive the message that repentance is a onetime event. God’s message is that, as President Russell M. Nelson has taught, “Repentance … is a process.”5 Repentance may take time and repeated effort,6 so forsaking sin7 and having “no more disposition to do evil, but to do good continually”8 are lifetime pursuits.9

Life is like a cross-country road trip. We can’t reach our destination on one tank of gas. We must refill the tank over and over. Taking the sacrament is like pulling into the gas station. As we repent and renew our covenants, we pledge our willingness to keep the commandments, and God and Christ bless us with the Holy Spirit.10 In short, we promise to press forward on our journey, and God and Christ promise to refill the tank.

Some mistakenly receive the message that they are not worthy to participate fully in the gospel because they are not completely free of bad habits. God’s message is that worthiness is not flawlessness.11 Worthiness is being honest and trying. We must be honest with God, priesthood leaders, and others who love us,12 and we must strive to keep God’s commandments and never give up just because we slip up.13 Elder Bruce C. Hafen said that developing a Christlike character “requires patience and persistence more than it requires flawlessness.”14 The Lord has said the gifts of the Spirit are “given for the benefit of those who love me and keep all my commandments, and him that seeketh so to do.”15

One young man I’ll call Damon wrote: “Growing up, I struggled with pornography. I always felt so ashamed that I could not get things right.” Each time Damon slipped, the pain of regret became so intense, he harshly judged himself to be unworthy of any kind of grace, forgiveness, or additional chances from God. He said: “I decided I just deserved to feel terrible all the time. I figured God probably hated me because I wasn’t willing to work harder and get on top of this once and for all. I would go a week and sometimes even a month, but then I would relapse and think, ‘I’ll never be good enough, so what’s the use of even trying?’”

At one such low moment, Damon said to his priesthood leader: “Maybe I should just stop coming to church. I’m sick of being a hypocrite.”

His leader responded: “You’re not a hypocrite because you have a bad habit you are trying to break. You are a hypocrite if you hide it, lie about it, or try to convince yourself the Church has the problem for maintaining such high standards. Being honest about your actions and taking steps to move forward is not being a hypocrite. It is being a disciple.”16 This leader quoted Elder Richard G. Scott, who taught: “The Lord sees weaknesses differently than He does rebellion. … When the Lord speaks of weaknesses, it is always with merc

General Conference Saturday Evening Session October 2021

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