Pipe Poems: The Beginner

The Beginner

I’m new to pipe smoking, that much I get
But one proper smoke I’ve not gotten yet
Everyone else seems to smoke like a champ
And I’m still here trying to get the right tamp

Light after light, steady smokes I desire
My pipe won’t stay lit, but my tongues sure on fire
And then there’s tobaccos, and where they come from
There’s so many out there, it makes my mind numb

There’s Burleys, Virginias, Orientals and such
Latakia, or is it latakia, it’s all just too much
You’ve got flakes you’ve got plugs and ribbon cut too
With all these decisions what can a guy do

I tried youtube videos to give me a clue
With Mutton Chop and Matches to start me anew
But then I found Spurgeon and Hobbiton and more
Paladin with Codgers, and Pipe Nooks new store

Briar Blues came up then in my que next to see
And some kinda Mafia that was since lost on me
I saw NW Piper in his lodge in the rain
And NW Pipe Smoker while he’s upping his game

I saw Flatcap and Lady reviewing some stuff
And Parsimonious in his hat, on a Tuesday cobb puff
I’ve seen all kinds of pipes stretching bowl to stem
But I still have questions, like what’s a B&M

So bear with me gents as I give it a go
So much to yet try, so much to yet know
But if I find comfort, in pipe smoking bliss
And see a young lad who’s less hit and more miss

Who’s spirits are down and who’s hard to console
I’ll sit that lad down and we’ll both share a bowl