I am self conscious about my weight.

2 years ago
5

I am Conscious to go social dancing due to being overweight

This person was conscious because they believe that only the skinny and good looking followers get asked to dance.

Being Overweight, does not mean you cannot be a good dancer. I know plenty of plus sized dancers who are absolutely fabulous on the dance floor. I also know plenty of in shape people who are terrible dancers. Your weight should not hinder your desire to learn

if you are feeling insecure that also brings your energy down and makes you retreat into yourself so you end up not enjoying the dance as much and perhaps giving off nervous and uncomfortable energy. Giving off that energy can make people hesitant to approach you and ask you to dance. And this can turn into a vicious feedback loop. The good news, perhaps, is that it’s something you can change over time.

The key is being a fun partner, and that has nothing to do with your weight and more to do with your attitude. It is all about attitude. It does not matter how hot/fit/pretty you are, if you have a shit attitude you are not going to get asked to dance often and you will definitely not get a second dance with anyone.

When on the dancing scene. Look like you are having fun. Smile. Nothing worse than dancing with a partner who looks like they hate dancing. People will much more enjoy dancing with others who show they enjoy the dance and themselves. Also, when you do go to socials.....don't sit in the furthest corner. Stand/ sit in an area where you will be seen! For the Follows - Ask the guys for a dance. I have never seen a guy reject a dance offer from a woman, no matter the looks.

Something I’ve noticed is that if you are new to a location. The more you show up, the more people become comfortable seeing you, and asking you to dance more often. People would rather dance with people they know are good dancers, so they don't bother with people they're not familiar with.

Start taking group classes where partners rotate. It's a good way to get to know other people. People will want to go to social dances as well and will look for other's to join. That way you won't be alone at a social and it'll be easier to get asked to dance by leads of your group.

If your physical appearance and health is important to you, you definitely should continue dancing as much as possible. Not only is it a great workout but it releases so many good chemicals in your brain! You'll end up feeling better inside and out.

If you are anxious about talking to people, relax. You don’t have to. People are there to dance, not talk. Just smile and nod, ask the usual “how are you what’s your name” questions, and relax and enjoy the dance.

From a leads perspective - I’d much rather dance with someone who is enjoying themselves and knows how to dance than someone who is gorgeous but not a good dancer or in a sour mood.

If you are just a little heavy/overweight - I wouldn’t worry much about it but past some point your weight will unfortunately limit your dancing in several ways. Some patterns like hammer lock become problematic. This is not a criticism of heavier people, it’s just physics. This doesn’t keep me from dancing with them but it requires me adjusting my dancing style and patterns.

In my last dance scene in New Orleans, there are girls (and guys) who are overweight and are definitely considered to be excellent and sought-after dancers. So if your sole reason to stop dancing is because you think you first need to lose weight, then I don't think that you should. Continue improving your dancing!

Side Note: Also learn to switch roles. Leads that learn to follow are better leads. Follows that learn to lead are better follows. Being a more rounded dancer ensures you will always have someone who would enjoy a dance with you.

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