Depressed Thoughts In The Woods (April 2021)

2 years ago
13

Filmed 4/14/21.

This video was filmed in the heat of COVID isolation, when my depression was at it's worst. I decided to go for a walk in the beautiful Clatsop National Forest in Oregon and ramble a bit.

I was nearly in tears this afternoon for the state of society and lack of new human connection. Granted, I was very fortunate to have Katrina my girlfriend as a friend and camping buddy in all this. This is far better than many people around me have.

We were both dealing with severe depression during this period, and we finally decided to go get medical help in the form of anti-depressants from our Doctors. I realized I have felt depressed on some level long prior to this pandemic, and only recently thought about how much time during day to day life I spent wondering to myself "Is this fun? What would make this fun? Should I try something else? This seems like it should be fun, why am I thinking this right now?" We looked in to therapy as well, but no therapists were available for months, if at all. We both generally avoid taking medication, simply because it sucks to be reliant on pills with their associated side-effects.

I was also struggling with insomnia and trying to get off this medication that was worsening my emotional state, if anything. And to make things worse, I was not able to continue my work, as there was nearly no work to be had during lockdown as an Uber driver, and even if I did work, it just took away my benefits. I had UI benefits, but I get much of my fulfillment from working, and it is hard to not go to a dark and empty feeling place when I spend too much time at home without a sense of purpose. Work for me is about far more than making money.

Let me know in the comments how everyone relates to my commentary in this video. Enjoy!

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We are Cody and Katrina, AKA Second Nature. We have been traveling the US in our 32’ 2018 Desert Fox 27fs toy hauler trailer since October 2020. A lot has happened since we left, and we hope you will come along for the ride!

When we first started on our trip a lot of chaos happened and we weren’t able to edit, so we’ve been working through our backlog of footage for a while. We plan to be caught up and current in the next few months. In the meantime, have fun watching our memories.

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