Improv Soul Ballad About How Sexy I Am Without a Mask

Giant Slayer performs at random parks in Maryland at events called "Hugs Over Masks," which were conceived by Dr. Sherri Tenpenny in Canada. We run the official Maryland chapter of Hugs Over Masks.

We sing songs about:

-Fighting Medical Tyranny
-Conspiracy Theories
-Supporting Free Speech
-Saving the Children from Abuse and Captivity
-Current AND historical events
-God
-Cryptozoology and other Fringe Science/Mysteries

Lyrics for Unbare Advantage:

I'm a sensual guy,
I like to show my bare face.
It's kinda dangerous,
Oh, everywhere, I go.

At the grocery store,
I show up and ask your name girl.
I'm the only guy here with the bottom half of my face showin',
I don't know why.

But when you look in my direction,
Do you see a 7, an 8, or a 9 out of 10 guy?
In the old days I was more like a 5...

But when everyone's got their face covered,
I'm more like a 9,
just because you can, see that
I've got a nose, and a mouth, and a chin, and some cheeks yeah.

Oh yeah, I'm normally a 5,
but now I'm a 9!
And Ben is... a 10!

*Rob speaks to wife suddenly*
What do you rate me babe? (My wife's here.)
Pre-apocalypse, what was my... 7 out of 10, 6 out of 10 level?

Wife (under duress): "10."

Rob: Well that's nice, but I have nowhere to go above that, baby. You're being too kind. I know you're lyin'.

Wife: Well it's being recorded, so--

*Rob interrupts and continues singing*
Just like Bill Gates is a-lyin'.
Just like Fauci is a-lyin'.
They're all doing lots of Crime,
while we're at home just cryin'.

Yeaahhhhhh.
At the grocery store I make the scene,
I've got obscene amounts of flesh showin'
On my face.

I can't emphasize enough,
that this whole thing is a bluff.
We don't understand,
why everything is so stuff.

Whoaaa, how do I explain to my daughter,
why she's the only 5-yr-old who doesn't have to wear a mask?
That's right I like her to breathe.

You gotta let those kids, let those kids breathe!
Aw yeah, you gotta let those kids interact.
Oh yeah.

What do we do now, now that everyone's got a vaccine yeah?
They're not gonna let us into these airplanes,
unless you get your shot.
It's no fair!
COVID-19 is fake! Yeah!
COVID-19 is a hoax. It's just a cooooooold...
or something like a bird flu.
I think they use the same call names as,
avian cold flu... avian bird flu?

SARS COVID-19
makes our face obscene.
I'd recommend you breathe.
Oh, let your face breathe
and repent that you even
thought that it was real.