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Affiliate Link Below https://fliki.ai/?via=rosbel You know there's rumors that Drake wanted to buy this property for five million and I outbid him And so now he's got beef with me and Kendrick Lamar Look out Drake That's the spot Hope you guys like it Thanks Toronto Peace Martin Amini

Affiliate Link Below https://fliki.ai/?via=rosbel Be back in a minute James First thing I noticed was she had a really cute lisp Very pretty sexy lips beautiful eyes That's it for now Yo give it up for Madgie one time bro Can he give you a little kiss on the cheek Okay if he gives you a little kiss on the cheek Yeah give her a little kiss bro Hey Yo give it up for her nose she didn't imagine one time Wow I wish you guys the best man Much love Yeah I wish you guys nothing but a great year

Comedian: Drew Michael Affiliate Link Below https://fliki.ai/?via=rosbel One thing I like that musicians do that's cool is before they play a song they can tell you where the song came from Explain like where it came from I went to go see one of my favorite singer songwriters Jason Isbell Yeah okay sure Yeah He's great and uh before he played a song He said to the audience He said you know I went to high school with this guy And he asked his girlfriend to marry him in the parking lot of the football stadium She said yes They got pregnant with a girl and he went off to war overseas and died didn't come back and then the girl was born So anyway this next song It's about them And everyone was instantly touched There was like a beautiful feeling in the crowd that added this layer of depth and poetry to the whole thing

Comedian @JoeyDiaz Affiliate Link Below https://fliki.ai/?via=rosbel People are going to watch this in March All right And then fuck you cocksucker This is going on today with Doug Benson We're smoking bong hits for fucking Jesus Let's do another one OK Fuck it Let's do some more bong hits for Jesus Jerry's kids everybody today We're mixing this motherfucker up today God damn it It's over Gray paper in the house Let's do this Oh yeah If you're at home fuck it Light yourself on fire It's over Put it on John Lennon a tremendous club you know So I was in Seattle maybe two weeks and I was already rocking In Boulder I would do like five sets a week and I had to drive all over the fucking world In Colorado I had to go to Wyoming and shit In Seattle we had two spots on a Monday night four spots on a Tuesday Six spots on a Wednesday There was a spot on Thursday You know there was always something It was just fucking mind boggling And I'm having a great time with the broad You know she's stripping at night I'm helping to count the money

Derrick Stroup Affiliate Link Below https://fliki.ai/?via=rosbel I said Bill could you imagine being at a party and drinking and knowing for sure some guy named Marcus was gonna pull up in a Nissan Sentra with two bottles of water playing your favorite radio station I couldn't imagine you know I mean what a life I mean I learned a lot about bikes and hindsight but I couldn't imagine Yeah I'll give you a tune-up and a heartbeat you know But I mean I brought this up to my dad

Derrick Stroup Affiliate Link Below https://fliki.ai/?via=rosbel If you want funny comedians you gotta have some that's seen a checkpoint I don't drink anymore My life's changed All the things that y'all wanna hear have happened okay And I usually don't talk about it because I'm ashamed of it but now that there's a little space between me and these DUIs I'd like to circle back and say some shit I'd like to defend myself because I got my DUIs back when we were still earning them okay No there was no Uber or Lyft all right If you're under the age of twenty-eight you don't know what it's like to be stranded You've never been at a house party and watched your DD black out You've never seen that You don't know how scary that is Tyler promised us he was gonna be sober I moved to Denver about nine years ago to experience real-time travel Stuck at a stranger's house You don't know how you're gonna get home You've never earned it Sleeping in a cold sunroom using a rug as a blanket Twelve years ago I got two DUIs all right

Derrick Stroup Affiliate Link Below https://fliki.ai/?via=rosbel You just pulled my pants No that's not that happened so fast You don't get to do that and run away We just went fishing together I'm about to pass out I'm serious

Derrick Stroup Affiliate Link Below https://fliki.ai/?via=rosbel They love Lowe's They can't believe not everybody tucks in their shirt And I asked him because he used to tie one on back in the day Back in the seventies Bill used to have a good time I said Bill could you imagine being at a party and drinking and knowing for sure some guy named Marcus was gonna pull up in a Nissan Sentra with two bottles of water playing your favorite radio station I was like Bill how drunk would y'all have gotten man And he was like son we would have shit our pants He's like I could not imagine Because a lot of y'all you don't know what it's like

Affiliate Link Below https://fliki.ai/?via=rosbel You've never seen that You don't know how scary that is Tyler promised us he was gonna be sober Tyler lied Stuck at a stranger's house You don't know how you're gonna get home You've never earned it Sleeping in a cold sunroom using a rug as a blanket It's terrifying Y'all been there Laying in the floor You're like will sunlight ever come I don't know All y'all if you're under the age of twenty-eight you don't know what you get to go home when you want Kings and queens of the Irish goodbye you've never been stuck in a kitchen going through a stranger's pantry before Because you couldn't leave because you're stuck We didn't drive drunk because we wanted to look at me We drove drunk because we wanted to see our families again I wanted to see my mom you know I had too much vodka That doesn't mean I don't get to see her Some of y'all don't know what that's like You've never earned it you know And I'm not saying listen and things are better now You've got Uber and Lyft

Affiliate Link Below https://fliki.ai/?via=rosbel Y'all remember that I mean I'm telling you I wasn't the goose you wanted I can promise you that Don't come tap my head because I'm on your ass You know what I'm saying I mean I was tight around that circle I had ponytails off my knees I was tight around that circle This ain't the goose you want buddy It's just wild the games man I do think that nineties kids came up with the wildest game ever

Affiliate Link Below https://fliki.ai/?via=rosbel This is how we lost the damn dinosaur You wouldn't be able to play that Some of y'all over the age of forty-five had some of the dumbest games ever You thought tetherball was the lights-out game That's a stupid A ball a pole and a rope You're an idiot just standing there in the yard smacking a ball around You can't believe it keeps coming back to you This shit's electric It's because we didn't have internet yet I mean I can remember growing up I'd ring people's doorbells and take off and jump in the ditch It felt like drugs y'all I mean I'd ring three or four doorbells I'd be sitting in a ditch and I'd be like I'm a gang member now I got the whole subdivision upside down right now Just silly games that were fun back then Duck Duck Goose hit hard in the nineties

Affiliate Link Below https://fliki.ai/?via=rosbel I've had them try to run Some of them will try to roll Let them roll Listen we've got enough baristas We need some more iron workers y'all You gotta tell you if they try to stand up you're gonna join the union okay You're gonna learn how to make your own lunch We gotta toughen these kids up Just another example I mean the games in the nineties were insane We didn't have the internet Nineties kids were the last generation before the internet And all the games before us were terrible I mean I asked my mom what'd y'all play growing up She said kick the can I was like that's a sad story Stacy I mean that's a game I wouldn't even be able to play in Colorado You'd have six hipsters show up Pick up the can

Affiliate Link Below https://fliki.ai/?via=rosbel And it's titty twisters No y'all listen to me No I'm serious If you're a nineties kid it was rampant back then I mean we had to keep our head on a swivel You'd be at Mama's house just cruising through the living room and your cousin would reach out and light your ass up And then they'd get you with another one They'd have both nipples and they'd go hey Derek jumper cables you know And I'd be like hey Ricky I can't feel my balls buddy you know And they'd be doing it so hard You'd learn a little bit about yourself You're like I don't hate it but you're rough God you are rough Ricky you're rough But it's just a game that we should bring back This younger generation could use some titty twisters

Affiliate Link Below https://fliki.ai/?via=rosbel But it's just a game that we should bring back This younger generation could use some titty twisters They took titty twisters during the Me Too movement y'all didn't even notice They took you here they took you there they took these from us This younger generation is an aloof group of kids They haven't looked up from their phones in four or five months We start reaching out and giving them a few of these and I bet you they start looking around

Affiliate Link Below https://fliki.ai/?via=rosbel I remember it well It was like one thousand nine hundred ninety-nine I was in the fifth or sixth grade sitting there talking to a girl I had a crush on I was trying to tell her I had a four-wheeler because I knew that'd move things along And about that time my best friend came up and just yanked my pants to the ground Y'all remember this This game was lawless It didn't make any sense A bunch of middle schoolers going around and just yanking each other's pants down And it went on There was a little curiosity in there I think in hindsight some of us hate to admit that It didn't make any sense You'd just be hanging out with your buddy and he'd be like let's take a look at that you know Isn't that wild And they tried to like deflect it you know I can remember well you'd be standing there they'd pull your pants down and go you're gay and take off right You're like how am I gay

Affiliate Link Below https://fliki.ai/?via=rosbel I gained twenty pounds during the quarantine because I got into crockpots real heavy We've all messed around with a crockpot or two but I bought a power strip I started running four or five at a time I couldn't believe that they invented something I could forget about and absolutely nail I mean can y'all believe that I have ADHD Nothing in this world's ever been built for me Everything's built against me but not crock pots They're made for us ADHD people I mean people come over they're like Derek these are the best beans I've ever had What'd you do to them I'm like I'll be honest I forgot about them Yeah seventeen hours on low how about that Hey thank y'all so much for having me

Affiliate Link Below https://fliki.ai/?via=rosbel I mean the state of Alabama was pretty pissed you know They were But I mean I never started driving again and I just adjusted made a life out of it never thought about it until one of my buddies brought it up He was like Derek I gotta tell you man I think about it all the time you're the only person I've ever met that got a DUI gave up the vehicle He was like everybody I've ever met gave up the booze man And in hindsight he's so right I can remember looking back I remember thinking it's not Jim Beam's fault This damn Camry's bad luck I can't drive anywhere without him It's like man all my buddies they're in Subarus making it home I don't know Listen I just talk about things that are on my heart you know I'm a nineties kid you know Born in the eighties Some people don't understand that They think if they were born in ninety-three they're a nineties kid You're a dumbass You gotta be born in the eighties to be a nineties kid You don't remember Nickelodeon like we do And let me tell you I was thinking about this the other day There's something that we had in the nineties that they took from us that they should bring back

Affiliate Links Below https://fliki.ai/?via=rosbel So I don't have to put any sauce on it You don't have to We cut out red carpet treatment just for you Shakira All right Let's see Oh my God we started strong You know what I'm saying I can take spice That's spicy I must confess that I put some Vaseline on my lips That was smart

Affiliate Link Below https://fliki.ai/?via=rosbel I am a rocker I like the rock star era Shakira You know what I'm saying I would say It's the experience I'll take that How about Whenever Wherever Whenever whenever It's caliente There we go

Affiliate Links Below https://fliki.ai/?via=rosbel Which brought about laughs like it does now because of course that's not true and these songs have such an indelible place in fans' hearts But it did make me curious what does make you wince or cringe when you listen to your early material So many things I think I used to overdo the cries in my voice You know it's too much

Affiliate Link Below https://fliki.ai/?via=rosbel I'm starting to feel it Yeah How about you How you doing Same page same wavelength You and I are in a tango right now Every season we do out with the old in with the new sauces but then they stay this way for a whole season And guess what Shakira This is the last shoot of the season No I know I know but I'm happy that you're giving us the send-off

Affiliate Link Below https://fliki.ai/?via=rosbel Oh yeah when I was like twenty-one I had written a whole body of work and it got lost at an airport in Bogota I had all my lyrics in my dad's briefcase because I used to travel with my parents back in the day and I think that it just disappeared at the airport So that's why I named that album Where Are The Thieves After that story I had to reconstruct all of the lyrics in my head And I was able to like after a great deal of effort

Affiliate Links Below https://fliki.ai/?via=rosbel Beautifully said Are you ready to move on here to sauce number two Yeah absolutely All right so up next we have the Smokey J This one Yep that's the one Smokey J Mm-hmm Not bad Oh my God I'm starting to get scared Don't worry you're in good hands You're in good hands on this show okay Do you take like a stomach protector like a vacuum You know what Believe it or not no performance enhancers No No not even after the show You have some kind of like Doping control here Yeah they might test me after this If I have a good interview maybe they'll run me through I can't take a suspension at this point in my career you know what I'm saying You must have developed a tolerance to all of this Yeah I think it is like cardio If you do it regularly then you develop a familiarity with the pain or something And I imagine you never get sick This must be like a great antiseptic I'm stress-tested all the way through I'm purified It kills all the bacteria By the sauce exactly Wow It's nice though but it's starting to really do its thing As someone who physically writes their music from pen to paper do you have any gut-wrenching tales of losing or misplacing a creative piece of work

Affiliate Links Below https://fliki.ai/?via=rosbel Oh my God I can't believe we've come this far This is the one Mm-hmm that's the one Look at that She-wolf And then I just drop one drop you know Yeah yeah No that's all you need

Affiliate Link Below https://fliki.ai/?via=rosbel Just be careful Just be careful around the eyes Just be careful Oh okay I got you I got you Thank you Yeah I think I was exaggerating A little bit rogue you know Too much Shakira Yeah and I noticed that after my pregnancies my voice got thicker more rounded more full Also my choices are more mature I have evolved as a woman as a person My intellect has evolved So my lips are a little itchy but And that'll be kind of from here on out I just hope that this is like a natural plumper Exactly That's the Wing Five glow up here on Hot Ones Here we go Mm-hmm Mm-hmm Mm-hmm