Bus Dispatcher Asking Me "Oh, Really?" Yes...Really.
ORLANDO, FLORIDA (December 5, 2023). I'm not going to go into the weeds about the technicalities of the conversation, but, in a nutshell:
The dispatcher wanted a significant amount of work done in an impossibly short amount of time. Universal demands that, after dropping off our passengers at the airport, we begin our return trip at Terminal C before heading over to Terminal A. Okay, forget the geography.
I told the dispatcher I would be going through A first, and then C, in order to be on time.
When he replied, "Oh, really?"
I couldn't resist. "Yes. Really."
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I Hate It When My Bus Breaks Down With Passengers
ORLANDO, FLORIDA (November 27, 2023): Driving passengers from the Orlando Airport to their Universal resort hotel when the bus shuts down on me. This is why I don't do out-of-town work; when I lose a belt, or coolant (or both. in this case), or have a tire blow-out or suffer some other mechanical mishap, help is always close by.
Fortunately, the passengers were all very nice and understanding and we got them on their way.
Bonus: A tiny glimpse of Epic Universe, set to open on Memorial Day 2025.
Some mild profanity. At the end, some digs at GO Transit - in particularly some of their more wasteful clumps of cells masquerading as managers - back in Ontario. My worst day here in Florida would truly be my best day back in GO's West Region (signed, Seventy Nine And A Quarter). I'll take the occasional breakdown over the snow and the drama and the incompetence any day. Hamilton, Streetsville, you know who you are.
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Lynx Transit Orlando : Where The Hell Do They Find These Guys?
ORLANDO, FLORIDA (November 15, 2023). Driving my non-Lynx bus behind a Lynx transit bus (Route 19, fleet no. 46, tag no. YT220) eastbound along Gore Street. As it approaches Rio Grande, the driver is unable to complete a lane change and stop with part of the front end crossing the yellow line and encroaching into the oncoming lane. He (she or it, who knows these days?) changes lanes mid-intersection.
Then, the next block at South Orange Blossom Trail, with a city works truck WITH UNPLATED TRAILER in the left lane encroaching into the right lane, the Lynx driver chooses to get up alongside it anyway and ends up cutting across the sidewalk to make a right turn.
Just wait until they make it into the cockpit at Delta and United.
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Car Nearly Runs Over Family Dollar Staff
ORLANDO, FLORIDA (August 21, 2017).
It's called Pine Hills, but around here, we call the place Crime Hills. It's Detroit, except with palm trees.
I have no idea what led up to it, but a black woman driving a black Honda tries to run over a number Family Dollar staff outside their Pine Hills Market Place store.
Just another day here in the happiest place on Earth.
On my radio in the background, you can hear news radio station WDBO 96.5 talking about that day's eclipse, and Kissimmee Police investigating the deaths of their armed municipal agents Sam Howard and Matthew Baxter who were killed by Everett Miller, who is now waiting to ride the lightning.
"Everything Is Beautiful" By Roger Whittaker, RCA-Victor, (c) 1988
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The North American House Hippo
A Canadian public service ad from the late 1990s from an outfit calling itself "Concerned Children's Advertisers" which sought to teach young viewers the value of critical thinking.
Transcript:
It's night time in a kitchen just like yours. All is quiet...or is it?
The North American House Hippo is found throughout Canada and the eastern United States. House Hippos are very timid creatures and are rarely seen. But they will defend their territory if provoked.
They come out at night to search for food, water and material for their nests. The favorite foods of the House Hippo are chips, raisins and the crumbs from peanut butter on toast.
They build their nests in bedroom closets using lost mittens, dryer lint and bits of string. The nests have to be very soft and warm. House Hippos sleep about 16 hours a day.
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Amtrak Coach Passengers vs. Going To The Zoo
ESSEX COUNTY, NEW JERSEY (March 20, 2014)
ADVISORY FOR UNFORTUNATE LANGUAGE (Translation: There's bad words)
My wife and I were traveling on Amtrak's Silver Meteor from New York City to Miami. We were staying in a roomette, a cabin which features two seats facing each other during the day and upper and lower berths at night. The toilet flips up next to one of the two seats. As anyone who has traveled in these accommodations knows, as. a matter of practicality, one traveler must step out when the other needs to "go."
Rather than impose upon my wife to step outside, I would normally go to a coach car and use its restroom.
While mercifully not shown in this video, the coach restroom was a mess despite the train having started its journey barely an hour earlier in New York City.
When I got back to our room, I ended up performing this entirely unscripted, spur-of-the-moment, highly inflammatory yet incredibly accurate rant about the quality of people who ride in coach on Amtrak (or Greyhound or the airlines for that matter).
Despite many of them being cooped up together for 24 hours or more (much longer on cross-country trips), they seem to have no sense of cleanliness or courtesy towards their fellow travelers.
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GO Transit Bus Driver: "I see you've got a big one today!"
NEWMARKET, ONTARIO (October 5, 2005): So I was driving my bus through Newmarket, enroute from Barrie down to Toronto, when a female driver who is no longer with GO but is nevertheless legendary to the North Corridor drivers who have been around for a while, commented on the fact that a driver who would normally be driving a city transit-type bus (an Orion V) was today driving an MCI D4500 highway coach.
I am also driving a D45 (brand new!)
The angle isn't the best, but you get a view of a part of Newmarket that has changed significantly in the past nearly-two-decades.
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Deer at Walt Disney World Golden Oak Resort
ORANGE COUNTY, FLORIDA (November 1, 2020): I took this video of a deer just as I was getting off of work at Walt Disney World's Four Seasons Golden Oak Resort.
There are a lot of deer in the area of the Disney Channel soundstages, Golden Oak and Camp Wilderness.
They are so tame, you can walk (or drive) right up to them and almost pet them.
They live at Disney rent-free. They don't have to pay property taxes. Vehicle traffic moves at moderate speed. There's no hunting allowed. The weather is great. And they are large enough that even Disney cast members with the strangest predilections will have no power over them.
So, in short, these guys have it made.
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Booger The Pitbull Trying To Speak
ORLANDO, FLORIDA (July 9, 2019). This video was taken the evening we brought our new pitbull, Booger, home from the Orange County (Orlando) shelter.
We also brought home Annie, a viszla, so that Booger could have a girlfriend.
At first, we thought Booger had been de-barked, but it turns out it was just laryngitis.
Dogs need love. Even pitbulls. Rescue a dog and give him (or her) hugs, kisses and a big belly rub today.
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My Pitbull Is A Viscous, Bloodthirsty Killing Machine
ORLANDO, FLORIDA (March 6, 2020): My Pitbull, Booger, showing his unconditional love by licking my face off.
Dogs need love. Even pitbulls. Rescue a dog and give him (or her) hugs, kisses and a big belly rub today.
Dogs need love. Even pitbulls.
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Amtrak California Zephyr Leaves People Behind In Glenwood Springs
GLENWOOD SPRINGS, COLORADO (September 30, 2006)
The conductor, Bill, told them not to leave the platform.
But some people just don't listen.
They ended taking a very expensive taxi ride to the next stop, two hours away. The irony is, the train arrived in Emeryville (San Francisco) 12 hours late.
As a bus driver, I tip my hat to Bill. I am always eager to teach people the value of personal responsibility at every opportunity.
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Universal Orlando Bus Ride From City Walk to Volcano Bay
ORLANDO, FLORIDA (JUNE 6, 2022): Driving Universal bus no. 3651 (2017 XD60) 60-footer from City Walk to Volcano bay while not in service.
I've spent the early part of the morning transporting guests between the resorts and City Walk and now that Volcano Bay is opening for the day, it's time to go over there and use that big bus as it was intended.
I'm glad it doesn't snow here in Orlando because in winter weather, those bendy buses are totally useless.
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STUPID DAD, DRAGGING HIS KIDS ACROSS THE RAILWAY TRACKS
BURLINGTON, ONTARIO (October 25, 2014): I saw this winner as I was taking my lunch break on board my GO Bus outside the Burlington GO Train Station.
This area has always been a self-sustaining enterprise for CN Police (Canadian National Railways) but I guess they were on a lunch break, too.
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Cow Grooming Her Calf in Orlando, Florida
ORLANDO, FLORIDA (MARCH 8, 2019): A cow grooming her calf at a ranch on Regency Village Blvd., in Orlando's south end near Disney Springs.
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I Hate North Dakota
WOLF POINT, MONTANA (March 29, 2009): My brother and I were traveling by Amtrak from our respective homes in suburban Toronto to visit our grandmother and other family in and around Vancouver, B.C. From there, we would travel down the coast to San Francisco and Los Angeles before returning home.
I enjoy train travel, but this was a new experience for my brother.
It was Day Two of the journey. We had woken up to a blizzard in North Dakota. He talks about how he likes (or dislikes) the train and the part of the country we're passing through.
We were chatting in the Sightseer Lounge of Amtrak's "Empire Builder," which runs between Chicago and Seattle (with a branch down to Portland if you like to live dangerously).
Our "sleeping accommodations," as referred to in the video were the two coach seats we occupied in lower level coach. Hint: If you must travel in coach, and you're on a Superlilner, book yourself in coach. You don't have to be elderly or disabled. Anybody can buy a ticket to sit there. But you MUST request lower level coach when you buy your ticket. It's more private, it has less than half the number of seats of regular coach upstairs, and often it's quieter. There tends to be a better quality of people riding downstairs.
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Barrie, Ontario: Cat Tries To Ride The GO Bus
BARRIE, ONTARIO (September 24, 2005):
GO Transit MCI D-4500 Bus no. 2286
It was a nice Saturday morning when I was driving a southbound Barrie - Newmarket - Toronto Union Station GO bus. At Mapleview, I pulled over to board a passenger waiting at the stop. There was a cat there with him.
I asked him if it was hit cat and he said, "No."
The cat first ran under the bus and then boarded the bus, running to the back. I left my seat, went to the back to pick up the cat and dropped it off outside the bus. It then ran back on. Again, I picked it up, and this time carried it off the bus and deposited it on the other side of a nearby fence, in a vacant lot.
I ran back to the bus, closed the door and took off. The cat then tried to run after the bus.
Back then, GO's two-way radio system didn't work in the south end of Barrie and Innisfil Township and neither did cellphones (Oh, what beautiful days the were, not having to listen to the radio and not having passengers yelling into their cellphones either, but I digest).
Upon reaching radio range in Bradford, I reported the details to GO Transit's Bus Operations Centre at Steeprock Garage in Toronto since passengers will complain about anything, including delays caused by a cat). I was speaking with Acting Supervisor (a driver who occasionally takes on supervisory duties temporarily, while still in the union, before returning to driving) Carl L., a driver out of Oshawa.
Carl agreed that since the cat wasn't in a cage, let alone not having a ticket, it was not eligible to ride the bus. Those were great days at GO. It was before the bureaucratic monster known as Metrolinx was created.
If anybody is interested, the cat lived at 43 St. Paul's Crescent in Barrie, one block east of Yonge Street. Poor kitty's probably long gone now. In fact, it's been so long since I've been up there, the whole block is probably a Wal-Mart by now.
That part of Barrie has changed quite a bit since then. Yonge Street was widened and a new GO Train station, Barrie South, opened just north of that intersection a few years later.
And yes, that sound you hear is the sound of a driver making change and selling a passenger a ticket. I edited a part of the video after this happened becauseI I made a mistake: The gentleman who boarded asked for a ticket to the Finch Subway Station, but I was so distracted by the cat I only issued him a ticket to Newmarket. The connecting driver of the York Mills "B," Ron R., told me the passenger was mad because he had to buy a new ticket from Newmarket to Finch. So, buddy, if you're out there, sorry.
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Eating Flaming Hot Cheetos on Amtrak's San Joaquin
CORCORAN, CALIFORNIA (April 4, 2011)
My wife and I were enroute from Las Vegas. to San Francisco (yeah, I know, it's a sh hole; but it wasn't as much of a sh hole then as it is now) as part of our vacation. We had traveled from our home in Niagara Falls, Ontario, to New York City (speaking of sh holes that are even bigger sh holes now), New Orleans, Los Angeles, San Diego, the aforementioned Las Vegas.
After a couple of days in San Fransicko, we would hop a train to Chicago and ultimately Buffalo and Niagara Falls.
Melissa had mistakenly bought me a bag of FLAMING HOT Cheetos from the vending machine at Bakersfield's Amtrak station. Being Canadian (as I am), she had never heard of the Flaming Hot variety of Cheetos because it's not sold in Canada.
Rather than see that 65 cents go to waste, I opened the bag and ate it for her.
I am wearing a GO Transit (Toronto) watch.
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Niagara Falls, Ontario: Buses spinning out in icy, untreated yard
NIAGARA FALLS, ONTARIO (December 18, 2016): I was a GO Transit bus driver at the time. GO's Niagara buses are stored at Niagara Transit's municipal transit yard.
The roads around the yard were icy, as was the yard itself. Another GO bus was stuck outside the gates, perilously close to sliding into the ditch. Buses could barely maneuver around the yard.
While I was close to my first trip starting, I refused to try and leave the yard. I wasn't going to wreck. a million-dollar bus just because I was trying to be a hero. I was particularly stubborn, since I - like many GO bus drivers - had been burned by Safety & Training in the past.
GO ended up having to bring in a bus from Guelph to make service for the rest of the morning. An irony because, had the city of Niagara Falls maintained its own yard and the roads around it, I could have made my trip on time.
I drive a bus in Orlando, Florida now, so this all seems like a distant memory.
But, as I say at the end of the video, if the City of Niagara Falls - or any city, for that matter - doesn't care enough to provide basic maintenance on their own property, thereby risking millions of dollars in damage, what do you think your city "officials" think about you?
Ironically, Niagara Falls, like most Canadian cities (almost all of them, in fact) have by-laws (ordinances) in place to make you, the lowly homeowner and property taxpayer, shovel the city's sidewalk in front of your house or business and clear the ice as well.
I did make it out of the yard later that morning. After a City of Niagara Falls salting truck came through and treated the yard and adjacent roads.
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Orlando Lynx Transit Bus Driver Fighting With Passenger at Walt Disney World
ORLANDO, FLORIDA (November 6, 2021). A rumble on Rumble!
An Orlando Lynx Transit bus driver and a passenger get into it outside the bus, at Walt Disney World of all places.
It sounds like they were fighting over the passenger's refusal to wear a mask.
It happened around 9am at the Ticketing And Transportation Center (TTC), which is the public access point for the Magic Kingdom.
Nothing but joy and bliss here in the Happiest Place On Earth.
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Universal Orlando Bus Driver Rescues A Wayward Turtle At Volcano Bay
ORLANDO, FLORIDA (May 21, 2018)
I am a bus driver at Universal Studios in Orlando. I was on my lunch break when a turtle - who is a regular customer, by the way - returned to his favorite spot, the bus platform roadway.
I dutifully put my food down (not an easy task in my case, as you will see), picked him up and returned him to the retaining pond where he lives.
While Volcano Bay's turtles tend to confine themselves to either of the two ponds next to the park, we tend to see a lot more of them during the spring as the boys are out looking for a girlfriend.
And, to my co-worker, who was saying, "Oh my God, are you serious?"
All I can say is, "As serious as a heart attack, honey."
I'm a serious man in a serious business.
It's a damn sight better than drive the ol' GO Transit bus back in Toronto.
The buses you see driving past are 2017 and 2018 New Flyer XD40s. I had to move to Florida to drive a Canadian bus.
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Universal Orlando's Volcano Bay Bus Ride
ORLANDO, FLORIDA (April 9, 2019): RFW Front window view from Universal Orlando's parking garage to Volcano Bay.
The bus is a New Flyer XD40. XD60 60-foot "bendy" buses are also seen.
This video is taken from within a publicly-accessible area, and not from within the paid area of the park itself.
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Universal Orlando bus with GO Transit (Toronto) / TTC Door Chime
ORLANDO, FLORIDA (December 21, 2019). I had a bit of dwell time on my route, so, as a former GO Transit bus driver (Toronto), I thought it would be fun to temporarily install the door chime used by GO and the TTC on their trains.
It actually would be a good idea, particularly on the 60-foot "bendy" buses. But, what do I know? I just drive the bus.
I worked for GO from 2004 until 2017 when my wife ordered me to move us to Florida. The pay cut sucked (still does), but I just do as I'm told when it comes to matrimonial issues.
Bus 3524 is a 2019 New Flyer XD40, used that day on Team Member.
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Volkswagen vs. GO Bus (Hint: the bus won)
AURORA, ONTARIO (September 24, 2007): This is what happens when a Volkswagen Jetta takes on a bus.
Recorded with my own Panasonic camcorder (That predates I-phones in Canada for all you kids out there so no need to tell me about the picture quality; thank you for your concern).
And while I have your undivided attention, kids...make sure you're extra careful when you make that left turn. When the bus is done with you, it won't just buff out.
The collision disposition found me to be not at fault.
Recorded with my own Panasonic camcorder (That predates I-phones in Canada for all you kids out there so no need to tell me about the picture quality; thank you for your concern).
I was enroute from Toronto Union Station to Barrie via Aurora GO Train Station and Newmarket GO Bus Station. The bus is no. 2024 (long since retired), a 2003 Orion V suburban transit model.
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