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Cats are funny, and what better way to celebrate that than with some kitty-themed humor? If you love a pun or knock knock, these cat jokes are for you.

Even though there was a blizzard raging outside, I made it the half-mile to the bakery, where I asked the owner for six rolls. “Your wife must like rolls,” he said. “How do you know these are for my wife?” I asked. “Because your mother wouldn’t send you out in weather like this.”

Q: What did the grandma cat say to her grandson when she saw him slouching? A: You need to pay more attention to my pawsture. Q: Wanna hear a bad cat joke? A: Just kitten! Q. What does a cat have that no other animal has? A. Kittens.

Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings? It’s hardly ever for them. Q: What kind of dog likes taking a bath? A: a shampoodle!

Two dog owners are arguing about whose pet is smarter. “My dog is so smart,” says the first owner, “that every morning he goes to the store and buys me a sesame seed bagel with chive cream cheese, stops off at Starbucks and picks me up a mocha latte, and then comes home and turns on ESPN, all before I get out of bed.” “I know,” says the second owner. “How do you know?” the first demands. “My dog told me.” From the book Laughter: The Best Medicine

Did you hear about that lame party in the jungle? Someone forgot to bring the chimps and dip. 1. Why did the cats ask for a drum set? They wanted to make some mewsic! 2. What’s a cat’s favorite TV show? Claw and Order. 3. How did the Mom Cat know she was pregnant? Her test was pawsitive. 4. What normally happens when kitties go on a first date? They hiss. 5. What’s a cat’s favorite cereal? Mice crispies. 6. What color do kittens love the most? Purrple. 7. What does the cat say after making a joke? “Just kitten!” 8. When cats need to go to the airport, who do they call? A tabby. 9. Why did the cat have to go to an accountant? They got caught up in a purramid scheme. 10. What made the cat upgrade his phone? He wanted to finally get pawtrait mode.

What kind of monkey likes seafood? A shrimpanzee.

Funny Animal MemesFunny Animal PicturesFunny DogsFunny AnimalsCute AnimalsFunny QuotesRandom PicturesMonkey PicturesAnimal Fun.

You will need to provide egg food , plenty of soaked and sprouted seeds, soft vegetables, cooked sweet corn kernels, and plenty of greens, including chickweed and dandelion leaves. The soft foods should be available to weaned birds for several weeks after their 'independence'.

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face he gets mad at you? But when you take him in a car, he sticks his head out the window.

Just look at her eyes, they are full of love. Animals have been companions to humans for thousands of years. ... In fact, euthanasia is the most common cause of death for healthy unwanted dogs and cats.

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Q: How did the little Scottish dog react when he met the Loch Ness Monster? A: He was Terrier-fied!

13. Why was the cat so small? Because it only ate condensed milk! 14. Did you hear about the cat that climbed the Himalayas? She was a sher-paw. 15. Who was the most powerful cat in China? Chairman Miaow. 16. Knock Knock Who’s there? Cat! Cat who? “Cat me outside, how bout dat?!” 17. What is smarter than a talking cat? A spelling bee! 18. What is a cat’s favorite kitchen tool? The “whisker”. 19. What do you get when you cross a chick with an alley cat? A peeping tom. 20. Why was the cat so agitated? He was in a bad mewd. 21. Why was the cat sitting on the computer? To keep an eye on the mouse! 22. What’s a cat’s favorite button on the TV remote? Paws. 23. Why did the cat get pulled over by the police? Because it littered. 24. Did you hear about the cat who drank five bowls of water? He set a new lap record. 25. What do you get if you cross a tiger with a snowman? Frostbite! 26. Why are cats good at video games? Because they have nine lives! 27. Where does a cat go when it loses its tail? The retail store! 28. Have you ever seen a catfish? No. How do they hold the rod and reel? 29. Why do cats make terrible storytellers? They only have one tail. 30. Do you want to hear a bad cat joke? Just kitten! 31. A cat walks into a bar. The bartender says, “What’ll you have?” The cat says, “A shot of whiskey.” The bartender pours the cat his drink. Slowly, the cat pushes the shot off the bar…immediately demanding, “ANOTHER!!” 32. A man walks into a bar with a cat and dog. They all sit down and the bartender says “What can I get you?” The dog looks squarely at the bartender and says I’ll take a Vodka, the guy will take a water, and the cat will take a Scotch.” The bartender, in shocks, says to the dog, “This is AMAZING! You’re a dog that can talk…” The guy looks at the bartender, and says, “Don’t be fooled, the cat is a ventriloquist.” 33. Two cats are trying to cross a river. One’s name is Onetwothree and the others’ name is Undeuxtrois. Why was Onetwothree the only one to make it across? Because Undeuxtrois got carried away. 34. If lights run on electricity and cars run on gas, what do cats run on? Their paws. 35. What did the cat say when it got scratched? Meowch! 36. What did the cat say after hearing a funny joke? Lmao. 37. My cat told a joke today but I didn’t laugh. He took it purr-sondal. 38. Someone made a joke about my three-legged cat. Major faux paw. 39. What do you call a fluffy male cat asleep on a bed? A Himalayan. 40. I have a pencil once owned by Shakespeare… Thanks to the cat it’s so chewed up I can’t tell if it’s 2B or not 2B. 41. I saw a neighbor talking to her cat today, it was hilarious that she thought her cat could understand her. I went home and told my dog. More cat articles 28 Funny Cat Puns for When You’re Feline Sad 15 Best Jobs for Cat Lovers What the Heck Does Catnip Do to Cats? SHARETWEETPIN IT Zibby Wilder Zibby Wilder is a writer specializing in food, wine, travel/tourism, personalities and histories of place. She lives in Santa Fe, New Mexico. sidebar By Zibby Wilder Share This Article Tips & stories by dog people, for dog people EMAIL ADDRESS By providing my email address, I consent to receive marketing communications from Rover.com and its affiliates. Privacy Statement POWERED BY Rover.com Popular Posts Sit Back and Get Cozy With These Dog-Themed Reality Shows, Streaming on HBO Max Dog Pee Smell on the Carpet: How to Get Rid of it for Good The Ultimate Kong Stuffing Recipe Guide The 17 Best Puzzle Toys That Actually Help Bored Dogs Tricks and Toys to Keep Dogs Busy When They’re Alone

1. What did the cat say when he lost all his money? I’m paw! 2. Why are cats better than babies? Because you only have to change a litter box once a day. 3. What did the alien say to the cat? “Take me to your litter.” 4. Why don’t cats play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs. 5. What is a cat’s way of keeping law and order? Claw Enforcement. 6. Did you hear about the cat who swallowed a ball of wool? She had mittens. 7. What sports do cats play? Hairball. 8. How many cats can you put into an empty box? Only one. After that, the box isn’t empty. 9. A policeman in the big city stops a man in a car with a Siberian Lynx in the front seat. “What are you doing with that Siberian Lynx?” He exclaimed, “You should take it to the zoo.” The following week, the same policeman sees the same man with the cat again in the front seat, with both of them wearing sunglasses. The policeman pulls him over. “I thought you were going to take that cat to the zoo!” The man replied, “I did. We had such a good time we are going to the beach this weekend!” 10. Did you hear about the passenger who had to be escorted off the airplane? She let the cat out of the bag.

Q: What do you get when you cross a racing dog with a bumblebee? A: A greyhound buzz! Q: Why did the snowman name his dog "Frost"? A: Because "Frost" bites! Q: What dog keeps the best time? A: A watch dog! Q: Which dog breed absolutely LOVES living in the city? A: A New Yorkie! Q: Why is a tree like a big dog? A: They both have a lot of bark! Q: What do you get when you cross a cocker spaniel, a poodle, and a rooster? A: A cockerpoodledoo! Q: What do you get when you cross a frog and a dog? A: A croaker spaniel! Q: What do you get when you cross a dog with a phone? A: A golden receiver! Q: Where do you find a dog with no legs? A: Right where you left him! Q: Why aren't dogs good dancers? A: Because they have two left feet! Q: What did one flea say to the other? A: Should we walk or take a dog? Q: Why should you be careful when it rains cats and dogs? A: Because you might step in a poodle! Q: Why can't dogs work the DVD remote? A: Because they always hit the paws button! Q: How are a dog and a marine biologist alike? A: One wags a tail and the other tags a whale! Q: Why was the dog sweating so much? A: She was a hot dog! Q: What did the waiter say to the dog when he brought out her food? A: Bone appetit! Q: What do you call a great dog detective? A: Sherlock Bones!

What should you say to your cat when you leave the house? “Have a mice day!” How does a cat decide what it wants from the shop? It flips through the cat-alog! In what kind of weather is a vet the busiest? When it’s raining cats and dogs! What do you call a cat wearing shoes? Puss in boots! What type of cat works in a hospital? A first aid kitten! Why are cats good at video games? Because they have nine lives! What’s a cat’s favourite game to play with a mouse? Catch! What do you call a pile of kittens? A meowntain! What do cats eat for breakfast? Mice Krispies! How does a cat sing scales? Do-re-mew!

Bob: How do you make a cat happy? Bill: I don’t know. Bob: Send it to the Canary Islands!

Brush my teeth before take a Nice Bubble Bath | How do I look? What do cats like to eat on a hot day? A mice-cream cone! Why do cats always get their way? They are very purr-suasive! How do two cats end a fight? They hiss and make up! What should you use to comb a cat? A catacomb! What is a cat's favorite movie? The Sound of Mewsic! How do you know a cat is agitated? He's having a hissy fit! What's a cat's favorite magazine? Good Mousekeeping! Why did the cat wear a fancy dress? She was feline fine!

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