Biden scolds a reporter: "I know you're a typical press guy. You're grabbing me in front of this all of a sudden, and I trust you as far as I throw your phone. I can have a good arm, man. I can throw it a long way..."
Hilarious. CNN host on Biden losing black voters by more than half: "Holy cow, folks! Look at this! I just never seen anything like this! I'm, like, speechless because you always look at history, this is a historic moment in 6 decades!"
Q: Why did Biden claim, twice in one week, that inflation was 9% when he took office — when it was really 1.4%? Biden's Press Sec: "Well, uh, look, what the point he was making, uh, is that, uh, ..."
Q: How does Biden explain Biden's silence this week? Biden's Press Sec: "He's not been silent! I'm not gonna speak about, is that somebody's doorbell? Alarm? And I'll speak more broadly... Climate change!"
Biden's Press Sec denies Biden accepted President Trump's debate challenge to distract from the endless chaos and as the result - low poll numbers: "Biden is very successful and popular!"
Biden's Spox says "Biden is sharper than ever" and when asked "Should voters know about cognitive ability of candidates?" she says "I don't even know what that question means."
Biden's Press Sec cooks up a giant word salad as she attempts to explain why those Americans who did not attend college or take on student loan debt should pay for those who did and "who deserved that opportunity."
Local reporter: "When you drive around the area, you see a lot of Trump signs, not very many Biden signs." Biden: "You haven't been driving the right places, pal." ... Reporter: "They're giving me the wrap up sign."
Epic saga of Kerry Kennedy endorsing Biden on CNN: From being derailed by an anti-Biden protester with blood-curdling screams to a Freudian slip when instead of saying to vote for Biden she says: "Vote for Trump."
If Biden has got significant limitations on his memory, then who is helping him run the country? Biden's Press Sec: "That part of the report does not live in reality." Biden: "Aafuthimerfutifuterwigh!"
Biden: "My middle name is Robinet. I've been told by my grandfather that this was established. I've not found it yet... so that makes me a son of the American revolution... maybe one of your genealogists can figure it out for me."
Dazed & confused, Biden shuffles down the short stairs in Atlanta to tell Black people: "If you have a problem figuring out whether you’re for me or Trump, then you ain’t black."
When It Doesn't Make Sense: Biden's Press Sec cooks up a giant word salad as she attempts to explain why Biden spent his day meeting with celebrity & Trump hater Mark Hamill and why they carried him into the briefing room.
Biden Pandering Clown Show: "My name's Joe Biden... I'll just slow up for just one second here, because I'm gonna get in trouble... 400 million billion dollars!.. the Supreme Court tried to stop me, most supreme ever!.."
Biden's scripted 'press conference': "I'll take just 2 questions... I wish you guys would play by the rules a little bit... I'm extremely proud of my son, he's the brightest, most decent man I know..."
Joe Biden on the way back to the White Nursing Home in D.C. after his embarrassing trip overseas, where he will keep embarrassing himself even more — all at the expense of the American people.