GRETCHEN WHITMER

She had locked the doors and was frantically dialing her cell phone when the Marines shattered the driver’s window and dragged Whitmer, kicking and screaming, from the vehicle. When handed a copy of the arrest warrant, Whitmer shredded it and demanded to speak with Joseph Biden. + “The Whitmer we caught appears to be the real Whitmer. No indicators of cloning were found,” our source said. Whitmer will be sent to GITMO or Camp Blaz to face a military tribunal.