Story Time

https://suno.com/song/23c7ba22-cb1b-42ba-890f-0569c91ae288 melodic classical When I was in high school I had an obsession with meditation and self improvement after I had a very bad breakup with my boyfriend at the time. So I made a habit to wake up at four in the morning to begin my meditation by watching candles and then performing tai chi outside. The problem is that not only was it four in the morning but the begining of summer so I had bugs to deal with. So to compensate this problem being a woman that's adored by mosquitoes, I put on long loose black sweats, and wrapped a Tshirt around my face to protect myself. This worked very well and I had the time of my life improving myself and getting reconnected with nature while still having plenty of time to do my usual day chores. Two months in and my neighbor who works at the hospital came home early. Of course I was meditating so I was barley listening as I heard a lot of scuffling and a door slam. With a frantic hushed tone though her window nearby I heard her on the phone apparently looking me over in the distance going: "Mom, you're not going to believe this. There's a ninja in the back yard. I think it is Natalie." It was then she told my dad and he went to chew my ass out for going outside at four in the morning scaring the neighbors. It was then she told my dad and he went to chew my ass out for going outside at four in the morning scaring the neighbors. Nobody listened. Nobody cared. But by that point in my meditation studies and practice I had learned not to give a damn or look for others input, so I continued to meditate whenever the hell I wanted, if not do it twice as much to make a statement. And that's the story on how my protection from mosquitoes made people assume I was a backyard bandent.

https://suno.com/song/30f0cfbb-cd03-4a6f-8db5-404bddfc2e19 it was the early 2000's and my sister and i just got done with the weekend with Mom, and she was on our way back to the long drive to the state line to drop us back off with dad. I was in the back seat playing Pokemon Gold and Silver and my little sister was doing her make up in the passenger seat mirror, because she is buji like that. And while Mon was yelling at my 14 year old ass on saying I was not worth Jack shit, my near 11 year old sister decided to go brush her teeth right there. The problem with brushing your teeth in the car is that you have nowhere to spit. So she frantically moved around to find some place to expell the nasty toothpaste nightmare. I looked up from the back seat in time to see mom yelling at my little sister screaming "Don't you dare spit out the window, it will go all down the side of my car!" So my little sister hunted though her purse and took out a white rubber glove she stole from the hospital at one of her many visits. Now she had a rubber glove full of nasty white gunk and did not know what to do with it. Now my mom and sister was freaking out while my battle in my game was on pause to see the chaos unfold before me. (To be fair it was nice for someone else to be yelled at for once) Tensions rising, blood pressure popping, and mom screaming that you better not leave that nasty shit in my car! So my sister got frustrated and threw it out the window. And then while my mom was screaming about littering and the ticket that she could have given her, my eyes followed the glove fly out the window, and flip in the air to catch perfectly on the end of the antenna of the car behind us. I watched slack jawed as the look on the other drivers face was full of shock and disgust, because a glove full of spit and toothpaste does not look like that going 70 miles per hour. [instrumental] I turned to yell at my mom and my sister to stop yelling for five seconds and look at what they did. They of course had no idea until I told them where the glove went. And the car went dead quiet spare my battle music from my game and my laughing ass rolling around in the back seat of the car. It was just funny seeing them act all innocent like they had nothing to do with the driver behind us and their deep distress. They kept telling me to stop laughing and keep low, as if you can keep low being on the highway going 70 miles per hour in the middle of the day. But we stopped at the next gas station because that was where we were to meet dad at, but that was also where the other driver went. My mom and sister left their car and practically ran inside the gas station to continue acting innocent while I stayed in the car and watched the guy find a stick and looking like he was two seconds from puking try and untangle this white dripping rubber glove from his car. And since that day my sister's been much more aware on how to brush her teeth in the car, and my mom started paying attention to her surroundings more when driving. [instrumental] So when I feel down and need a smile, all I have to do is remember the glove that ruined three lives that day! [end]

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