How To Make Him Desire You - And Chase You...!
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How To Make Him Desire You & Chase You – 9 Tips
If you love a man, you want to know that he’s not only in love with you, but that he WANTS you. You’ve probably found yourself wondering how to make him desire you at some point.
Usually, this means that you want him to chase you… It’s the most powerful way to feel desired by a man, after all.
And of course, the most powerful way to be desired is to feel sexual desire. You don’t need a sex expert to tell you that. Knowing you’ve got him under your spell means you know he needs you.
Men love to chase women, and this has been true for tens of thousands of years.
And if a guy is chasing you, you know that he’s NOT pulling away from you!
The key to making a guy obsessed with you lies in sexual tension – as you’re going to learn in these tips…
One quick warning before we get started here:
If you’re using a lot of manipulative “tricks” to make a guy desire you or like you, you’re going in the wrong direction.
Men have a very keen nose for the scent of bullsh*t in a woman. If he senses that she’s playing games with him, you’ll know why he never calls her again.
Sexual tension has to be created with sincerity!
Now, let’s get started with –
TIP 1: If You Want Him To Want You – DO THIS – Say it, soft and sweet…
For years, advertisers have used the trick of putting your name at the top of a form letter, or you might get an email that has your name in it. Whether you want to admit it or not, seeing your name (and hearing it) grabs your attention like nothing else.
You may have heard that the most important word in the whole world is your name.
Just think for a second about how you feel when a person says your name:
You’re instantly on alert…
Your attention is focused on that person…
You know that they’re talking right to you…
It’s the ultimate personalization…
Find a moment that you can slip his name into the conversation, if only to watch him respond.
TIP 2: Get Him To Pursue You – NO, Really! You better have one of THESE…
Have what, you ask?
Have a f@#$ing life, dude!
Sorry, that might sound harsh. But saying “have your own life” has reached epic cliché proportions. Just mentioning that about relationships typically gets an eye-roll and a “Yeah, got that, what else?”
But you have to really have to fight back that urge to start running after him and picking out your wedding dress.
The first thing you must have is your own interests and hobbies!
Why? Because guys are intuitive about one thing above all else: If you’re going to be a “stage 3 clinger” or not.
In a guy’s eyes, needy chicks are the worst!
They’re an emotional drag – because there’s usually a lot of drama attached…
He won’t feel challenged if you’re all set to start chasing him…
A man has a very limited amount of emotional energy to go around, and he knows that a clingy woman is going to take 1000% of it…
He’ll immediately think that all you’re dating him for is for free food, or you just can’t stand to be alone. NEWS FLASH: Neither of those is good…
You don’t have to be immersed in meetings every night of the week to show that you’ve got your own life. But you DO have to have other demands on you that occasionally make him have to wait on you.
The easy test of your neediness is this: If you have at least one activity (and I’m not talking about going to the gym or grocery shopping) that could conflict with a date, that’s perfect.
If you find that you’ve got less than 3 nights per week that you can go out on a date, then you might be TOO busy. But in my experience, it’s rarely ever the case.
TIP 3: Stick To Your Guns…
I’ve been on a LOT of dates with women, and there’s one thing I can tell you that will NOT make a man sexually desire you: When you change your stance on something to avoid him disapproving of you.
Major turn-off!
Men almost NEVER...
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How To Make Him Desire You
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Emotionally Unavailable Men - How To Spot Them In Time!
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Emotionally Unavailable Men - How To Spot Them In Time!
One of the most common problems a woman runs into within a relationship is emotionally unavailable men. These are guys that just don’t seem to BE THERE emotionally like she is.
Before we get started on the hot topic of unavailable guys, I have to point out something shocking that you might not know…
Women are often more emotionally open than men, sure. This much we know.
But women are also just as afraid of commitment on many levels as men are…!
Let me explain:
Guys are naturally hard-wired to contain and hide emotions.
A boy’s life is much more difficult if he’s overly expressive and sensitive
(I’m not saying this is right or wrong, it simply IS.) Boys are almost always rewarded by their peers for being more emotionally “unavailable.”
Meaning that for all the most important years he was growing up and developing his emotional IQ, he was given more positive reinforcement for hiding his feelings. Human beings instinctively pull back from men who express too many “gooey” emotions.
Think about it yourself: How happy are you in a relationship with a guy who doesn’t have at least a solid base of calmness and emotional control?
If you’re honest, you’ll admit that men who are too emotional are very unattractive.
Relationships With Emotionally Unavailable Guys – 7 Signs He’s Broken
As we discuss this, also keep in mind that women can be emotionally unavailable in many ways, too.
For Example: Most women do not have a good relationship to their own anger. This is something you may have experienced yourself.
So while men are often viewed as being unavailable more often, it’s something that happens with women as well.
Is There A Scientific Reason For Him Being Unavailable?
Yes, actually, there is a scientific reason for this. Hundreds of thousands of years ago, if a man was to survive in the hostile environment of fighting off predators, avoiding starvation, and ensuring the survival of his children, he couldn’t go mammoth hunting and cry on Groknak’s shoulder.
He had to:
- Deal with his feelings and manage them…
- Which usually means stuffing them deep down and out of the way…
- Pay attention to the present-moment challenges of survival…
- Ignore his feelings for his family to focus on the immediate needs of his tribe…
- And he really didn’t have a lot of TIME to dwell on his feelings. Every day was a fight to survive in harsh conditions. His relationships were from necessity…
We are fortunate now to live in a time where we have the luxury of exploring our inner emotional experience in a relationship much more than our friendly caveman Groknak could.
Your experience of emotions also benefits you much more than a guy:
Women are naturally wired to express their emotions openly…
Women also experience a more varied emotional range than most men do. You have more emotional ups and downs than a guy typically does…
Women will use their emotional conversations as a way to bond and share information with each other (sometimes referred to inaccurately as “gossip”)
So there are a lot of historical reasons for a man’s behavior. Fortunately for us, things are starting to change. Men are becoming more emotionally communicative on the whole.
DID YOU KNOW: Men also have “emotional cycles” – similar to a woman’s cycle…?
You need to know what the signs are for emotionally unavailable men – and be able to spot them. I’m going to explain a little about each signal as we go through them, and give you more detail.
Keep in mind that being an emotionally unavailable man is not always the same as
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Emotionally Unavailable Men
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How To Find Love - 10 Tips To Help You Find Mr. Right
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How To Find Love – 10 Tips
When it comes to finding a man for a relationship – or to marry – most women want to know how to find love in today’s dating world.
Sometimes it seems like the whole world is completely focused on getting a relationship with someone. Love is hard enough without us getting obsessive about finding a partner. But I’m here to help you with some tips for finding love.
First of all, I want to shoot down some of these –
Myths About Finding Love
Myth #1: You have to use online dating to find the right person for a relationship…
No, you don’t have to use an online dating site at all, if you don’t want to. This includes Tinder, Bumble, or a ton of the other popular ways people try to find a relationship or find love online.
I have been taking a survey of my readers for several years now, and I consistently get very raw, negative feedback about most people’s experience with online dating.
Sketchy guys/women
Liars/exaggerations in profiles
Looking for money
Married guys looking for hookups, not love
I think this is because there are a lot of potential issues with online dating – AND there are also a lot of opportunities if someone learns how to use it correctly to find love.
But you certainly do not HAVE to use it for dating if you don’t want to.
Myth #2: Stop looking for love – it will find you!
Another variation of this relationship myth is: “If it’s meant to be, love will happen for you!”
Ugh. This myth always got under my skin. I mean, we all know that it’s hard enough dating or finding a relationship when you’re TRYING.
So how could it be better to stop trying?
Well, as this theory goes, the harder people try, the more they “force” the energy of the universe – which the universe resists.
What this love myth is really trying to say is:
“If you’re a person who’s focused hard on finding someone or meeting people for a relationship, you’ll end up pushing them away…”
While there is some truth to that, the reality is that you DO have to look for the person you want if you want a romantic partner in your life.
Recent discoveries in psychology have shown us that if you keep a desire in your mind, you’re more likely to discover ways to fulfill it. (Thank you to The Secret for hitting us over the head with that one.)
In reality, people tend to get what they focus on getting. If it’s love you want to find, then keep your eyes opened for love. Just don’t get too obsessive about it.
Myth #3: Opposites Attract! (NOT)
This one has been around for a very long time – the idea that love happens so quickly between a person and someone else who is not like them.
There’s a psychology of why this “opposites attract” happens. But you only need to know that it happens because you’re actually just irritated at the failure of your last relationship – where he was compatible and so much like you.
Or you were just blinded by scorching sexual chemistry. Hey, it happens.
But the reality is that you’ll have much more success in dating a guy that’s more like you than unlike you.
Seek the bricks of compatibility FIRST, and then make sure chemistry is there to cement them together.
Okay, now we need to get into the ways for –
How To Find Love
If you want love in a healthy relationship and avoid the issues most people have in their relationships, you need to know that there are ways for how to find that love.
Here are just a few tips to get you moving –
How To Find the Right Person – Tip #1: Know What You Want FIRST
About 98% of the people I meet – even the ones I met in my seminars – didn’t have a list of what they wanted in a partner. Sure, they had a vague idea, but they really didn’t have a clear picture of how they’d know if they were to find love.
Take the next 5 minutes you would watch a pointless video on youtube to start a list of what you want in a mate…
A simple list of 10 must-haves, and maybe 10 must-nots, is all it takes.
Then, as you date and get more experience, you know what worked and what didn’t work for you, and you can update your list.
Love Tip #2: Get Over Rejection – FAST!
KNOW THIS: No one likes rejection.
Not even the most seasoned sales person wants to be rejected – or enjoys it. So you gotta learn how to...
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How To Find Love
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Why Men Lie -5 Ways He’s Not Being Honest With You
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Why Men Lie – 5 Ways He’s Not Being Honest
Sometimes it seems like getting a man to be honest with you in your relationship is nearly impossible. And you might find yourself wondering why men lie to you.
Are all men liars?
Do they lie to hurt women?
Is he always going to deceive you?
Can you ever trust him?
Well, there is no single reason men lie. I wish I could just tell you there was ONE cause, then we could all go and fix it in our relationship. But – there isn’t always a single reason for his romantic deception.
A man lies to you for a variety of reasons.
Let’s start out with:
What Kind Of Lies Do Guys Tell?
The first kind of lie a man tells is –
Lie #1: The ‘Whoopsie’ Lie
An example of a “Whoopsie Lie” is one where you ask him where he went with his guy friends, and he says he went to Garibaldi’s Pub. And then you find out later he really went to Jack’s Brewhouse.
Some might see that oversight as a lie or deception. But to him it was simply a combination of an extra drink with his not really caring about the details.
So be careful of assuming that this Whoopsie Lie is the same as him lying to cover something up. Very often it’s not an important detail.
Lie #2: The Status Lie
Guys are very focused on status.
This is such a prevalent form of lie for both men and women that it’s very likely you’ve “stretched the truth” to be seen in a better light.
Men lie to look more “high-status.” To a man, it’s all about the status and where he feels like he fits on the social pyramid. And yes, he will protect that status by lying.
Lie #3: The Save Face Lie
We all do this one, because we all want to avoid feeling embarrassed. It’s very directly related to Lie #2 about status, only this one is simply to keep a man from looking foolish.
He might lie to avoid letting you know he tripped and fell on his backside in front of a group of friends, so he says he was “tripped.”
Confession: I remember once having had a bit too much to drink and walking into a glass door. I shook it off fast and left as soon as I could to avoid embarrassment and never told anyone until now.
Lie #4: The Manly Lie
When it comes down to it, a guy wants to feel like a guy.
Like… a man.
And in today’s world, it’s getting harder and harder for men to feel this way. From the label of “toxic masculinity” to all kinds of criticism of men, it’s hard for a lot of guys to feel “safe.” (And if anyone is thinking: ‘Good! They get to experience it for once!’ – keep in mind that two Wrongs never makes a Right!)
Many guys will lie to protect their masculinity – and to inflate it.
A popular example of this would be his “number.” As in, the number of women he’s slept with. He’ll always inflate that number slightly to look more like a manly man.
There are plenty of other places a man will lie to retain his feeling of masculinity, such as stories that brag or embellish his accomplishments.
These little deceptions are best left alone. Pointing them out to him – or others – will only push him away.
Lie #5: The “Last Resort” Lie
In a relationship, there will be times when a guy feels as though he is “damned if he does, and damned if he doesn’t.” Meaning that he won’t win no matter what he does.
He feels cornered…
And very often, a woman puts him in this predicament.
For example, maybe you ask him if he’s going to “play that video game all night long?” Which is a sarcastic way of actually saying: “Can you pay some attention to me?”
If a guy hears underhanded requests enough, he’s going to start resenting the indirect, passive-aggressive way in which she asked him.
Women are much more indirect with their communication style. Most women want to avoid direct accusations, and avoid confrontations. This behavior is rewarded from interacting with other women. But it’s not rewarded when communicating with men.
And that’s where a lot of men don’t understand what to do. He feels caught between the proverbial rock and a hard place.
If he just wants to get in a little “me” time, he now feels guilty for doing it…
If he then gives in to make you happy, he will feel a bit resentful…
The “Last Resort” Lie isn’t always a ‘lie.’
You only think he’s lying simply because you never -
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Why Men Lie
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"Should I Text Him?" How To Know For Sure...
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Should I Text Him? 7 Rules For When To Wait And When To Text Him
Texting guys can be really confusing. You don’t always know what to text him. But before you even send that message – STOP – and ask yourself Should I text him?
There are definitely times in dating when you should hold back and NOT send that text, and that’s what I want to show you today: When you should and when you shouldn’t text him…
If you’re dating
If you’re “on hold”
If you haven’t met up yet…
If you’re just starting a relationship…
If you’re already in a serious relationship…
It doesn’t matter how you met him – Tinder, a party, or at the local Starbucks – you can save yourself a lot of time and effort by understanding the rules about texting and when to text.
Because you can scare a guy off with a text just as much as you could scare him away by asking him “So where is this going?” on the first date.
DID YOU KNOW: Women over the age of 60 do the most texting in the United States… (?)
There are two primary situations where you might wonder if you should text him:
- He’s texted you and you wonder if you should reply…
- You’re thinking of just texting him out of the blue …
You don’t want to come across as desperate – which I can totally understand.
I’m going to give you some text rules and tips that will help you make the best decision about sending that text. Or not!
Should I Text Him? 7 Rules To Remember
Rule 1: No Drinky, No Texty!
I have to make this one a number one rule because it’s so easy to drunk text. Heck, even if you text while just buzzed, you are likely to slip up and things could go very wrong.
If you’ve had more than ONE drink, do yourself and him a favor and put down the wine glass and turn your phone off. Don’t Text Drunk!
I mean, I hope you’re right there having that drink with him, honestly. But if you’re not and you’re just itching to text him, don’t do it. You’re coming from a place of anxiousness, and it will show in your texts.
One thing you do not want is to text him something in a moment of “lowered inhibition” that you might regret.
Ask yourself – If I was completely sober, would I send this?
The problem being, of course, if you were completely sober, you wouldn’t have this situation at all. And after a few drinks, you stop asking yourself the really good questions.
And if you do want to send that text message after your mind has cleared up, then by all means you can. Who knows, maybe you found some courage in your inebriated state – something that does need to be said later on.
But before you make that decision – BEFORE you pop open that Zinfandel – turn off your phone.
Rule 2: What’s His Orbit?
Guys fall into one of 3 orbits:
You’ve never talked or been in person with this guy…
You met him once…
You know each other at least a little bit…
Take a minute to think about what it would be like for him to get a text from you from out of the clear blue sky.
Will he know who you are right off the bat? Or will he just see your texts and phone number and get confused?
If you’ve never actually talked to him, it will be weird. And that’s not how you want to start this romance…
If you’ve at least met him once, and you know he’s got your name & number in his phone, then you’re probably okay to send a short note…
If you’ve texted him before, then it really depends on the situation. And we’ll cover that more here in this article…
Rule 3: When He Texts You First…
There are a few situations where you might get a text from him first and wonder if you should text him back:
Ask yourself if this is a guy that you are really interested in. If he’s not your type or your kind of guy – or your instincts are saying no – then just don’t send a reply text. If you text him back, you could open a can of worms. He might not take the hint, and then you’d be caught up in trying to be nice versus telling him to go away. And that’s not fun.
Ask yourself if this guy is available. Sometimes you get a text from a guy that you know is in a relationship, or might even be married. Is this something you want to be involved in? Again, your gut should be able to tell you which situations should be avoided.
Are you feeling an open sense of excitement with no reason to hold back? Well, again, be careful about how quickly you feel the urge to send him a text message. Very often that impulsiveness can make you text too quickly. You also don’t want to appear desperate to him.
Keep in mind that men are usually...
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Should I Text Him?
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How To Save A Marriage
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How To Save A Marriage – Tips To Avoid & Stop Divorce
BY CARLOS CAVALLO
We work very hard to make our relationships work, and the last thing anyone wants is to lose the one they love because the relationship wasn’t sturdy enough. And if you’ve gotten to the point of wondering how to save a marriage, you’re probably in a very tough spot with your spouse.
You want to avoid divorce, that’s for sure. And I want to show you what you need to know – before it’s too late.
You might be looking at your marriage and feeling as if it’s over. You want to join in the love of the relationship and the joy of being a couple again, but it’s often hard to see anything but a list of reasons that you should just hang it up and get a divorce.
In order for your relationship to work and for you to be able to save a marriage, you also have to be able to dive into the messy parts of your problems so that you can really meet them head-on. Most couples never really faced their issues as individuals before they sought out a relationship. And that’s a big problem right there.
And those problems always come back to haunt you until you do. The first relationship you ever get into is a relationship with yourself. If you don’t keep that relationship solid and whole, you can’t make a relationship with someone else work.
So you might be wondering what it takes to save a marriage from doom?
Well, first let’s start off on some signs that you can save your marriage…
SIGN 1 You Can Save It: You own your stuff…
If you know what your “stuff” is, you can be aware of how it gets in the way. And by “your stuff” – I mean all your insecurities and emotional triggers that show up in relationships.
We all have patterns of engaging and struggling in relationships. And they always reflect the times where our childhood self fragmented in a moment of stress or even trauma.
This was where our younger self had to develop a protection strategy – and it was necessary. Heck, some of our trauma wasn’t even intentional.
But the fact is that when a kid has a big challenge where he doesn’t get the love or acceptance that he/she wants means that a strategy might have been invented to protect us. And we almost never got to sit down with someone to work out the real interpretation of the event and heal from it.
This is true for him – and it’s true for you. You know you’re not perfect, right?
If you can own your stuff – and recognize it – you’ll be WAY ahead of 90% of the other relationships out there that struggle.
SIGN 2 You Can Save It: You still have good mojo…
If you still feel drawn back to him as your husband, and you don’t feel a constant need to escape your marriage, there’s a good chance you can save it.
Every marriage and relationship has a bank account of love in it for our partner. We make deposits and withdrawals, but the relationship is always carrying a balance.
If it’s a POSITIVE balance, you have good mojo with each other. You’re probably not feeling any contempt (see below about this) for your partner.
If it’s a NEGATIVE balance, you have a long, uphill battle to save the marriage.
You gotta look at your relationship checkbook and keep it in balance.
SIGN 3 You Can Save It: You know you still have to mow the yard…
I have a saying I share with my clients: “You know you have some relationship wisdom when you realize the grass ISN’T greener – AND it still needs to be mowed, too.”
Very often we shift our focus to another partner, we have an affair, only to realize after a while that we saw this new romance as just an escape. We realize that we’re not really looking for another relationship.
All loving relationships require effort.
And the sooner you understand this, the sooner you can get back to your partner on wiser terms.
You can try to escape this truth, but it will only come back to haunt you.
SIGN 4 You Can Save It: You still want the intimacy…
When your marriage is on the rocks, it can be difficult to find yourself disconnected from your physical intimacy.
But you do need to have the DESIRE to connect sexually on some level. If you feel a desire to share that special part of your intimacy with each other, there’s a good sign that you still have most – if not all – of the love you need.
Wanting to connect in bed like this is a sign that you ...
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How To Save A Marriage
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Is He Thinking About Me? Signs he is!
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“Is He Thinking About Me?” – The Signs That Say YES!
It’s kind of a cliché, but one of the questions every woman wants to ask is “Is he thinking about me?” And sometimes “What is he THINKING?”
Because if you can just get this guy to think good stuff about you, you know you’ve got him good and HOOKED on you!
You know YOU are thinking about him, but that’s the part that’s got you obsessing, right? You want to flip the tables and make him as obsessed about you as you are with him.
You might be interested in him, thinking about him – and wondering if he’s interested in you…
You might be dating him and wondering if he’s feeling and thinking the same thing you are…
You might have broken up and now you want your ex back…
Whatever the situation, it’s important to know where his head’s at and what he’s thinking when you’re dating!
But how do you know if he’s thinking about you?
Is it true?
Or was there something that made him stop thinking about you…
Let’s jump into the report and talk about the signs that say YES – he is thinking about you…!
“Is He Thinking About Me?”
Sign #1: He’s A Social Media Stud…
If this guy is thinking about you, he’s going to find reasons to contact you and find out what’s going on with you. Which means he’s probably going to stalk you a little bit on social media.
And it doesn’t matter if you’re 21 or 101 years old – everyone’s online these days.
Even if he’s not on Pinterest or Snapchat (or whatever comes next) – you can bet he’ll be out there making contact on at least Facebook. (One of my distant aunts is 80-something and she’s crazy-posting all the time on Facebook.)
Dating tips: You’re going to see this guy being much more visible. It will start out with friend and connection requests.
It might even start out innocently enough through some kind of professional connection, where he makes it a point to connect with you on Linked In about 2 minutes after you meet. (HINT: If he connects with you from his phone while you are together, that’s a HUGE sign!)
But you’ll see him make a big deal out of (sorta) cyber-stalking you on social media. This is part of his thinking about you and turning it into curiosity that makes him stay in contact. And even if he’s your recent ex, you will still see him keeping up on you this way.
Sign #2: Likes Likes Everywhere…
You’re also going to notice the activity on social networks start to pick up once you connect with him. He’s going to be tagging, liking, and commenting quite a bit on posts and stuff related to you while he thinks about you.
When you wonder ‘is he thinking about me,’ one side is him wanting you to notice him. Another part will be him wanting to “stake a claim” with you as early as possible. Yeah, guys start getting territorial and possessive the second there’s any interest on his part. He won’t want to risk losing you the more thinks about you.
Sign #3: He’s Foaming at the FOMO…
You might have heard of the term “FOMO.” It’s an acronym for:
Fear Of Missing Out
It was coined to describe how people behave these days with their smart phones. Now that we are all so darn connected online, we live in this weird state of being afraid of missing out on what’s going on with other people.
I used to feel this way back in my 30s, when I got my first cell phone with chat and voice mail. I was always checking to see if I was missing out on messages about going out and hanging with my friends. I’d think “Oh no, I better not miss anything…”
This was especially true when dating.
Guys get this way when it comes to a woman they’re interested in dating. In the beginning, you’ll see him viewing, checking things, and even being REALLY responsive on texts that you send.
Which, unfortunately, sets you up for a false expectation later that he’ll keep this texting frequency up. (He won’t, sorry to tell you.) But enjoy it while it lasts!
Sign #4: He Thinks In The Deep End…
One of the signs that a guy is only into you for the sex is that he’s never really interested in learning more about you. He just stays superficial.
Conversely, if he asks you a lot of deep and thought-provoking questions, you can pretty much guess that he’s thinking about you a lot.
Guys ask more questions of women that they’re interested in. He wants to get to know you and understand you.
And you should really think about this next dating tip –
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Is He Thinking About Me?
https://youtu.be/r9kfMvfBKSo
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How To Get Over A Guy
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How To Get Over A Guy – What You Can Do Right NOW...
Sometimes the path of love does not travel straight into his heart… And unfortunately – sometimes you have to know how to get over a guy. Even if it’s just to make room for the next guy.
I realize it’s not the best situation to be in – wondering how to get over your ex. But it’s important to know, or else you could find yourself making some pretty painful mistakes later on.
And if you don’t get over the past – stop reliving the past – and move on, you will sabotage the next romance.
There’s usually only one of a few situations that lead to a breakup:
He breaks up with you…
You break up with him…
You both agree that this just ain’t working anymore…
And usually it’s one person who decides it’s time to end the relationship.
Of course, it’s better that you only have to get over him while you’re just dating than if you were married… or you have kids.
But no matter what your situation, I’m going to explain –
How To Get Over A Guy – Fast & Easy…?
Well, you might want to get over him, but you also might NOT want to.
Let’s face it, romances are easier to get into than OUT of. You go through a lot of painful withdrawal symptoms when your relationship ends:
Heartbreak – How will this crying and sadness ever end?
Lost promises – What might have happened if you stayed together?
Jealousy – Seeing him on social media being happy and moving on with his life (seemingly) can be agonizing…
Anger – “Hey! Wasn’t this guy supposed to be THE ONE? Whatta jerk!”
Those feelings you feel are caused more by the chemicals in your brain than by REAL EMOTIONS, by the way. I know this might spoil some of the romantic magic for you, but it’s not your loving feelings that are always to blame for the heartache.
Most of the time, you’re experiencing the pain of losing the serotonin and oxytocin you had in your brain that bonded you to that guy. Sure, there’s some emotion, too. But it’s these love hormones that really make us FEEL the agony of loss.
So we sometimes don’t WANT to let go of our significant other, even when we were the ones who broke up with them. We fall into an ugly spiral of emotions that makes us feel like complete teenagers all over again.
Clinging to lost love…
Out of control…
Depressed…
Hopeless…
Angry…
If you’ve ever driven by your ex’s house, you might know what I’m talking about here. (Hey, I’ve done this. I’ve even waited there for a few hours. Yuck…)
It can sometimes even feel like you’re losing control of yourself, and that can be pretty freaky.
So once you’ve made the decision to disconnect and get over this guy, how do you do it?
Get Over Him – Tip #1: Don’t Dwell!
The easiest – and most destructive – habit to get into is what I call the “Dwell in Hell” syndrome. You start to replay things in your head in a maddening spiral of anger and pain.
If you get caught up in your thinking, what you’re doing is riding the emotional rapids. You’re reliving high-power emotions that your brain is mistaking for a replacement for the love you once felt for him.
It’s kind of twisted, and maybe leaves you feeling yucky, but it’s a habit that is EASY to fall into.
I once had to go talk to a therapist when I was in my late 20s because of a romance I couldn’t let go of, so I know how powerful the grip of love can hold us. I still remember all the scenarios I started imagining in my head.
And – funny enough – just a few months later you find yourself wondering,
“Why the heck was I so emotional over HIM? Who cares!”
Yeah, I’ve been there. Bought the t-shirt, too.
Remember – IT WILL PASS!
Get Over Him – Tip #2: Censor him out…
Every time you see his face in your mind, or hear his voice, or fall back into that Dwell hole, I want you do do something: Yell out “GONE!” in your thoughts. (Not out loud please. I don’t want you scaring people on the street.)
Just see the word “GONE” in big red letters, like on one of those rubber stamps they use for official documents.
And then SLAM that down in your thoughts with a resounding BOOM!
Get Over Him – Tip #3: Lock The Door…
This should probably be one of the first things you should do. You want to make sure you don’t leave a lot of “waffle room” in your decision.
If you dumped him, you should -
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How To Get Over A Guy
https://youtu.be/RxNBLLl9egs
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How Long Does It Take To Fall In Love?
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How Long Does It Take To Fall In Love?
It’s one of the trickiest subjects to talk about: Love. And most people are just as confused when they’re stuck wondering “How long does it take to fall in love?”
This is a big question, and I’m going to give you a pretty definite answer to that question before we’re done here.
But to even begin talking about this, we have to define that point in time where you fall in love with him – or he falls in love with you.
“What Is Love?”
I’ll spare you the millions of definitions I’ve heard about love over my decades studying this magical force of the universe. Instead, I’ll jump to what I consider a healthy definition of love. And then we’ll contrast that with the not-so-healthy ideas about love.
Carlos’ Definition of Romantic Love:
“LOVE – the romantic kind – is an intense feeling of shared attraction and connection.”
You’ll notice that I did not say this love even had to be between TWO people. Although we often think of love just as a couple, we can sometimes feel that sense of connection and bond with someone all by ourselves.
But for it to be a complete version of love, it does require the object of your desire to share in some of the love to “complete the circuit.” Otherwise, it’s incomplete.
Do I think that definition captures EVERYTHING about love?
Nope. Not by a long shot!
In fact, the REAL definition of love that I like even better is MUCH deeper – and much more spiritual.
Wanna hear it? Okay – here it is:
“LOVE: The relaxing of the physical mind/body into the infinite spiritual self.”
I bet you’re wondering what the heck that means, huh?
Well – stick around and I’ll come back to that…!
You can’t really say how long it takes to get somewhere until you define the destination. And this is doubly true for Love!
You can’t possibly say how long it takes to get there until you’ve got an idea of what the real feeling of love IS.
Which begs the next question:
What is NOT Love?
This question is at least as important as asking what love IS. Mostly because humans are really easily fooled when it comes to their emotions. (Yeah, that includes me & everyone else!)
WHAT LOVE ISN’T: It’s not lust…
Sorry romantic movie lovers! Falling into bed with someone does NOT mean you’re in love.
It is, however, the way we sometimes justify moving too fast.
Let’s say Boy has a crush on Girl. They have strong chemistry, and they fall into bed on their first date.
What’s most likely going to happen is this:
Both of them are likely to have a great time. I mean, c’mon! Sexy time is fun with someone you’re really hot for…
The woman is more likely to need an excuse for what happened. After all, she just slept with a guy on the first date!
Judgment happens: “Oh my gosh!” she thinks. “I’m a sl*t!” (I’m not saying this is true at all. But let’s be BRUTALLY honest here: There is still a double standard for sex, even in our supposedly “woke” culture.)
Rationalization happens: In order to NOT feel a little sl-tty for jumping right into bed, it might be easier to justify it with … LOVE! You must have done that because you were in love! So it’s okay! You’re not a “sl*t” anymore…
Now, I’m sure that what I just said is going to “trigger” more than my fair share of other “woke folk” out there. But in all fairness to myself, this isn’t something I just made up. A woman’s sexual “chastity” has always been viewed as more ‘sacred’ than a man’s.
So don’t fall for the old trick we play on ourselves when we pretend we must actually feel more than we do for someone just because we got physically intimate too fast.
Don’t make one mistake into an even bigger one!
WHAT LOVE ISN’T: It’s not jealous and possessive…
Just because you have strong feelings for someone, and you find yourself worrying about them with other people, this does not mean you love them. In fact, it might mean there’s something going on with YOU that needs attention.
Jealousy is not love…
It’s closer to distrust, anger, and insecurity.
While you may find yourself struggling with jealous feelings from time to time with someone, this doesn’t mean it’s Love.
WHAT LOVE ISN’T: It’s not ...
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How long does it take to fall in love?
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How To Tease a Guy With Texting
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How To Tease A Guy With Texting – 9 Tips That Work
BY CARLOS CAVALLO · DECEMBER 3, 2019
When it comes to texting guys, and getting good results, there’s probably nothing more important than knowing how to tease a guy with texting. It’s the one skill that will have the most powerful affect on a man’s heart and his feelings for you.
When you pull out your phone and decide you want to connect with him, you probably want to make sure you make the biggest splash – without accidentally pushing him away. And if you don’t consider what you text him, you could possibly annoy him.
So we’re going to go into some depth about this topic. But first, you have to really understand what works and what doesn’t work.
And what TEASING a guy really means!
When you tease a guy, it’s not to tease him “sexually.” This is a common mistake that many women make with men.
They think that if they can just arouse his sexual desire, that will:
A) Make him desire her
B) Make him fall for her
And neither is necessarily true.
The point of knowing how to tease him with texts is to jack up his masculine competitive energy. That might sound like I’m referring to his sexual energy, but it’s really not the same thing.
Here’s an example:
If you were to constantly tease a young girl about her hair, or her clothes, what do you think would happen?
She’d probably eventually burst into tears and fall into some deep sadness. This is a perfectly natural response to this kind of teasing.
If you teased a young boy about the same thing, he might also go to tears – but more likely is that he would just get ANGRY. (Even if he did cry, he’d still eventually get angry after the tears stopped.)
This kind of teasing raises a different kind of energy inside a boy than it does inside a girl.
Now, of course, I’m not saying that you should ever tease a man cruelly about anything. That’s definitely not the kind of energy I’m talking about.
But you do want him to feel like you’re confident enough to rib him a little bit. This is perfectly healthy fun for adults to “play with” the emotional energy between them.
Relationships where one or the other person is so sensitive that they can’t take a little good natured poke of fun are the worst kind of torture after a while. You always feel like you’re walking on eggs.
And that’s why you need to make sure this is a guy with some resilience. Because if he’s not tough enough to withstand some teasing, you’re in for a painful ride.
Let’s Go Back To The Playground
The kind of teasing I’m talking about here is the kind that you might do at the playground.
For example, when I was around 10 or 11, the girls in elementary school used to call me “skinny bones” when we played outside at recess. (I was a pretty skinny kid back then.)
That was perhaps a tad mean, but it was closer to the end of the spectrum than if they’d gone in the other direction with something gooey and girly.
Don’t ever tease him about physical characteristics. “Buddha belly” = bad.
But you can use teasing as a tiny dig about something else. It’s all in the tone and lightheartedness you bring to your gentle teasing. I’ll explain this more through the examples coming up.
Now, let’s get into –
How To Tease A Guy With Texting – 9 Tips
Tip #1: Text Him When He’s Right There…
This is a lot of fun, and it’s surprising how many women miss out on this. Just text him while he’s sitting right next to you, or across from you at the table.
Maybe while you two are at the gym next to each other on separate machines. Send him: “Hey, dude, I’m thinking your pace is kind of lazy… speed up!”
It’s unexpected, and it’s likely to get him to smile right then and there.
Don’t do it too often, as that will rapidly seem needy and weird. But once in a while, this is a fun way to text him.
Tip #2: Give Him A Fun Nickname…
Again, the key to this tip is to push the limits a bit. Most women would be inclined to give him a cute and squishy nickname like “Puppy fur” or ” Kitty whiskers.” (Blech!)
Don’t do that!
Instead, use something that is a slight tease. Use a name that’s related to something silly he’s done, or even poking fun at something he might own.
EXAMPLE: Maybe he’s been fixing that old car in his garage for months now. You send him this...
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How To Tease A Guy With Texting
https://youtu.be/ctigNlXwDVA
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Why Does He Keep Seeing Me If He Won't Commit?
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Why does he keep seeing me if he won't commit?
Have you ever been dating a guy who keeps you at arm’s length? And you wonder: “Why Does He Keep Seeing Me If He Doesn’t Want A Relationship?”
It’s a valid question, for sure.
After all, why would he continue to date you if he wasn’t interested in making a commitment to you?
Well, as we’re going to explore here, there are a lot of reasons he might not want to go further with you.
So let’s dig into:
Why Does He Keep Coming Back If He Doesn’t Want A Relationship?
Before we get into the reasons he would do this, I have an important question for you:
Why is a guy who is NOT interested in a relationship more interesting to you than a guy who does?
This one is going to ruffle some feathers out there, but it’s an important question. All too often, I find that my coaching clients are more obsessed with guys who are reluctant to get into a relationship.
I call this the “hard-to-get” syndrome. We’re almost always more interested in the people that are harder to catch than the ones that are ready for a relationship.
But the real problem comes up when you start becoming intent on winning this guy when you know he’s not the right man for you!
This is a very real problem for both men and women, where they put their brains on hold and start pursuing a person ONLY because they’re a challenge. Not because they’re the right person for them.
I distinctly remember talking to a woman on a phone coaching call who was practically obsessed with making a guy commit to her.
But, as I pointed out on the call:
He was verbally abusive…
He had anger issues…
He was insecure…
He wasn’t satisfying her (in bed or otherwise)…
And that was just scratching the surface!
When I asked her:
“Why do you want this guy? A guy that is clearly not right for you?”
She just sat there in silence, and then proceeded to ignore my question. The next thing she asked me was, “Do you think if I gave him some space he might want me back?”
facepalm calvin Why Does He Keep Seeing Me If He Doesnt Want A Relationship?
Facepalm… big time.
That’s right! She wasn’t even dating him! He had broken up with her a few weeks earlier. He wasn’t what she wanted, and she wasn’t what HE wanted. And yet she couldn’t let go of this past relationship.
Now, this is an extreme example of this, but it’s much more common than you might think.
So the important thing is to check yourself first before you get too attached to a relationship that really isn’t worth chasing.
Now, let’s dig into the reasons why a guy would keep seeing you even if he doesn’t want a relationship…
REASON 1: He’s just treading water…
Look, it’s no secret that guys are more focused on sex when it comes to the start of a relationship. We try endlessly to jump in bed with you. Or so it seems.
But here’s the reality: The faster you sleep with him, the less likely he will fall in love with you. (Oh, there are lots of opinions out there on this, but in your heart of hearts, you know it’s true.)
Men are programmed to look for women who challenge us and inspire us to become better men. This has not changed in hundreds of thousands of years, and I hope it doesn’t ever change. It’s a great system!
In fact, the process of falling in love is a sequential recipe.
This means that the ingredients that make it work come one after the other. If anything is out of order, the recipe for Love will not work!
Which is why sex is never ingredient #1. That’s a big mistake.
So one of the big reasons men keep seeing you without a relationship is that he’s just satisfying that need of his. (Men have a physiological reason for this drive toward getting laid, and I explain it clearly here)
Guys will gladly stay in a relationship that is purely physical, until something – or someone – better comes along. He’ll tread water for as long as she lets him get away with it.
REASON 2: He acts like your boyfriend because he thinks that’s what you want…
Guys sometimes also get caught up in the game of “well, she won’t sleep with me if she thinks I’m not going to be her boyfriend.” And a lot of the time, he’d probably be right.
But he’s not being dishonest to hurt you, or mislead you. He just doesn’t realize that if he were
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Why does he keep seeing me if he doesn't want a relationship?
https://youtu.be/wMBBElOpDtg
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Why is he losing interest in me?
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QUESTION FROM A READER: Why is he losing interest in me?
“Carlos –
I’ve been dating this guy for 2 months, and it’s really weird. I’m wondering if I give off some kind of “stay away” vibe…
I met him at this art fair where I was working in a booth. He was kind of cute, but I wasn’t sure if he was my type.
Anyway, he comes over to talk with me at least 3 times each day. And each time he asks me out…
I didn’t accept until the last day, just in case he was some kind of player. He kind of grew on me, and I gave him my number.
So – I need to know – Why does a guy pursue a woman so intensely at first. And then when he finds out she’s actually interested, he’s not so sure if he is interested anymore?
And then his interest fades and he starts treating a woman like she’s an option instead of a priority…
When can you let a guy know you are interested? At what stage? Is dating just one big mind game?”
— Ellie R., Atlanta, GA
CARLOS ANSWERS: Here’s why he loses interest…
Well, Ellie, this is one of the most important questions that women ask me. So I’m going to spend some time really diving into it to explain.
Let’s start with what it’s usually NOT:
He’s probably NOT playing hard to get…
Guys are TERRIBLE at this game. I know it’s a concern for a lot of women that a guy might be using some kind of psychological games to manipulate women.
It just doesn’t happen.
Here’s why:
Most guys are not “pickup artists” or “players.” Nor do they want to be one.
Guys feel VERY very incompetent at the kind of romantic games that already come from the woman’s side of the relationship. Most guys just want a level playing field.
Guys don’t have the patience – or the understanding, or the self-control – to play hard to get.
We just don’t do that kind of posturing. If he’s a guy with a lot of options, he may be naturally “hard to get.” And that will probably trigger your feelings of scarcity. But most men don’t really “play games” on purpose.
So when you asked if dating was one big mind game, I have to tell you that it isn’t.
Most of the things we think of as games are not malicious or intentional at all. They are usually just by accident or circumstance.
Dating is more about how we play mind games WITH OURSELVES than anything the other person is doing intentionally.
We make up things in our heads as to why the other person is doing something weird. And what it turns out to be is just good ol’ crazy emotional behavior.
Even men do it.
So now you might be asking yourself –
What Should You DO If He Loses Interest?
There are a few things you can do if a man has lost interest in you:
Do nothing…
Try to win him back…
Date other guys…
Give up dating for a while & focus on you…
Know that he’s not really reacting to YOU…
These are some of the most popular alternatives. But there is one that you may not have considered…
I’ll come back around to explain it at the end…
So now we have to tap into the reasons why men lose interest in women.
REASON 1 He Lost Interest: He was never all that interested…
Sometimes guys broadcast interest even when they didn’t have any to begin with. In the moment, he was flirty, funny, and intrigued. Maybe even a little liquored up.
Or – if you’ve been dating him for a short time, you come to realize that he was actually using you as a BTN.
That stands for “Better Than Nothing.”
It’s not that he’s intentionally trying to mislead you, or even lead you on. He probably thought in that moment: “Hmm… there’s potential here. Let’s see what happens.”
But then he realizes he either wasn’t as attracted to you as he thought, or another option comes along.
I hate to say it, but I’ve been the victim of this many times. Yeah, so both men and women feel this one.
If you’ve been in a relationship for a while with someone who loses interest, he might have been staying in the relationship even though he wasn’t that into it. He might have been a guy who was afraid of being alone.
If you suspect he might have lost interest because of this, it’s best to
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Why is he losing interest in me?
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How To Flirt With A Guy Texting
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How To Flirt With A Guy Texting
Flirting with a guy is tough enough, but most women want specific tips on how to flirt with a guy texting.
Texting a guy adds a whole new layer of complication – but it also simplifies things a lot, too.
Think about it: When you text, it’s like you get to say anything you want, and you know your whole message will be received at the other end. No interruptions or misunderstandings…
When you text a guy, you get to plan what you say – and say it right.
When you text him, you can say things you might not have the guts to say in person to him. Which leaves a lot of room to be suggestive and send sexy texts that get him interested.
Before I dig into these flirting texting tips for you –
Always remember these tips when texting and flirting with men:
TIP 1: Guys are awkward as heck in text…
It’s true. Men aren’t all that savvy when it comes to sending texts to women.
We’re not even all that good sending texts to ANYONE, really.
It’s not incompetence, mind you. It’s really that guys just don’t use text to talk. We just use texting to share information and coordinate things.
Guys also use texting for:
Confirming dates/times
Sending addresses, links
Sending jokes and fun stuff (we’ll come back to this one)
Alerts – warning or cautioning about things, like weather, hazards, etc
So keep in mind that his responses to casual conversation in text might seem short and almost unfriendly. You just have to know where he’s coming from.
TIP 2: Coy is the best…
When in doubt, you have to lean towards being more shy than forward when texting guys.
Now, this is where a great many women are confused.
Coy means:
…making a pretense of shyness or modesty that is intended to be alluring.
It does NOT mean: Be difficult, hard to understand, or weird.
Sometimes this is not clearly understood by women who didn’t get good advice from their moms. (I’m just calling the truth here…)
TIP 3: When In Doubt, SCRAMBLE…
A good friend of mine has this technique he calls “the scrambler.” It’s something he teaches men who are trying to be more attractive to the opposite gender.
He tells guys they shouldn’t be so predictable when they talk to women. The same advice works for women, too.
This roughly equates to a “pattern interrupt.”
Don’t let that funny, scientific term fool you…
A pattern interrupt simply means to throw something into your conversation that’s completely unexpected. And usually unrelated to what you’re talking about.
For example, if I’m talking to my friend about where to go for lunch, and I suddenly blurt out: “Nice car!” because I see a Ferrari pass by, that’s a pattern interrupt.
It scrambles the other person’s circuits for a second as they try to figure out the context of what I just said.
The same thing can work for you in texts as well. Don’t use this technique too much, or you could just wind up seeming a bit weird.
But when he says something to you that throws you off, or you feel an emotional reaction coming on, a pattern interrupt is a great way to distract him.
If he says something in a text that you don’t know how to respond to, throw something back at him out of left field. It will buy you some time until you can call a girlfriend and get some interpretation.
However –
TIP 4: Don’t over-analyze…
When a guy sends you a text you don’t know how to interpret, the best response is not to interpret it AT ALL.
I can’t begin to tell you how many women ask me: “What did he mean by THIS?” and shoving their phone in my face.
You have NO IDEA what he was doing when he sent that text….
For all you know – He may have voice dictated it, and the phone sent it wrong…
Ever had auto-correct completely change something you typed? Yeah, that’s another way that texts are misunderstood
Guys aren’t great at talking about feelings, emotions, and connective stuff – much less TEXTING them
I could go on and on with this list. The essence of it is that you are far more likely to misinterpret something he says than to get the real “meaning” of it.
Don’t fall into that over-analysis trap!
It happens all the time, and it can lead you to text him something WTF to him.
When in doubt, don’t ...
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How To Flirt With A Guy Texting
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How to make him think about you - 5 steps
For more on how to make him think about you:
Women everywhere want their man to think about her – and only her. Sometimes it seems like guys have their attention elsewhere. And that’s why I’m going to show you a few tips on how to make him think about you…
how to get men to think about you nonstop How To Make Him Think About You 5 Steps
Because if he’s not thinking about you, that space in his thoughts could be filled by another woman.
Let me explain…
What inevitably happens in most relationships is that one (or both) of the people in the relationship start to get bored. Once they get bored, they no longer value their partner, and they start to “check out” of the relationship.
They stop doing all the stuff they did at the start…
They lose the deep connection and start to withdraw from the relationship…
They start to long for the addictive rush of a new romance again…
And what inevitably happens is that we lose our gratitude for the relationship. And the grass starts looking greener elsewhere.
This seems to happen more with guys – from a woman’s point of view. And very often a woman will start to step up her efforts in an attempt to “keep him interested.” She tries to make up for the difference in energy in the relationship.
This is also a HUGE mistake – because it will now make HIM seem like the “prize” to be won, and he will stop appreciating her.
Let me tell you up front that the harder a woman works to win a man, the more unhappy she is likely to be in the relationship later. For the simple reason that a man needs to appreciate you for the relationship to thrive. (Actually, you both need to appreciate each other and value the relationship!)
So what can you do about this situation?
How To Make Him Think About You - 5 Steps
How do you get a guy to turn his attitude around and stop taking you for granted?
The best thing you can do is know how to make him think about you all day long. The more he focuses on you as his object of fascination, the more he will love you.
I’m going to warn you that you’re going to read some really UN- P.C. things here. But that won’t stop them from being completely and absolutely TRUE.
Do your best to manage your discomfort, and open your mind to the reality I’m about to share with you. I’ve studied relationships and motivation for over 30 years, and I can tell you what works.
Which is WAY more important than the way we WANT something to work.
The best solution is to not only make him think about you, but you have to make him a wee bit scared – deep down in his bones – of losing you, too.
There’s a saying, you don’t know what you got ’til it’s gone. And that goes DOUBLE for relationships!
If you haven’t gotten him focused on you yet – or the romance is just beginning, don’t worry! We’re going to cover that here, too.
Let’s start with:
STEP 1: TRIGGER HIS CURIOSITY…
Men are amazing when they get curious about something. If he becomes fascinated with something, he won’t stop thinking about it.
He CAN’T stop thinking about it.
get him to thinking about you all the time
Thomas Edison was obsessed with his inventions, filing over 1093 patents in his lifetime. That’s a lot of obsession.
Yeah, you could say he lived and breathed his work.
And if you want your man to live and breathe YOU – you can learn a lot from how men get stuck in their curiosity.
One of the most important ways you make him curious about you is to never give him too much information ABOUT you. Again, a big mistake I see both men and women make in dating is that they tend to tell too much about themselves.
“But Carlos – how is he supposed to fall in love with me if he doesn’t know me?”
Ah, therein lies the rub, as Mr. Shakespeare would say.
“Men don’t fall in love with YOU. They fall in love with the IDEA of you.” – Carlos Cavallo
It’s true.
He doesn’t need to KNOW you to form emotions for you. In fact, the more we know about someone, the more it spoils the effect.
Think of the last guy you fell for. I’ll bet you didn’t know nearly as much as you think you did about him. If you did, that knowledge might have spoiled the illusion that love depends on.
We allow ourselves to jump headfirst into a crazy emotional relationship a lot more frequently than we would like to admit.
The intellectual relationship – where we actually get to KNOW the object of our affection – almost always happens in the months after we
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How to make him think about you - 5 steps
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Is He Hiding His Feelings Or Not Interested In Me?
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Is He Hiding His Feelings Or Not Interested?
BY CARLOS CAVALLO
There comes a point in almost every relationship where you might find yourself wondering – Is he hiding his feelings or not interested in me?
You might wonder if he’s sending you mixed signals – and if he’s really in love with you at all. There’s a lot of confusion about this that I will help settle for you here in this article.
And in order to know if he’s hiding his feelings for you or not, there’s something you should know about guys:
Do You Understand The Dilemma Of MEN…?
The reality for most women is that they just don’t understand men. Not because we guys are particularly complicated. It’s because we simply don’t show our feelings and emotions as obviously.
Here are a few facts about men and their emotions:
FACT: Men have powerful emotions and feel them as deeply as women do…
FACT: Men don’t express these emotions as often or obviously as women do…
It’s very fashionable to talk about men as if we’re inadequate or emotionally stunted when compared to women. After all, the female emotional process is held up as the gold standard of healthy emotional functioning.
But there are many other things about men you might not know…
Men tend to focus less on their emotional state for “meaning” in their experience…
Even though men experience emotion deeply, most guys don’t experience as many blends of emotions at the same time…
Just because he doesn’t express his feelings the way women do, this does not mean that this is wrong – or that he’s emotionally handicapped in some way…
Now that last one is pretty important, and I hope you’ll remember it.
We all tend to evaluate other people and situations using OUR OWN experiences.
For an example: IF I enjoy social situations where I can help people out… I might think that anyone who doesn’t do this is “emotionally shut down.”
You get the picture…
We always evaluate others by our own standards.
So we need to be cautious that we’re not judging unfairly, too.
Most women (not all) have an advantage over men in the relationship area because of this. Which is why I teach women to manage men better – so you can get the relationship you want – AND he can get the benefit of your ability!
So the dilemma of men is that we’re always going to look “emotionally unavailable” compared to women – who are much more emotionally focused.
And here’s another tip to remember:
Most Men Are Afraid Of Women’s Strong Emotions…
Guys are deeply intimate with the emotion of anger, this much we know. But other emotions and shades of them are outside our experience.
And since most men need women’s acceptance, any of her other strong emotions are hard for him to understand. Add on the fact that he has no skills to deal with them and you have a recipe for PANIC.
BIG TIME.
So when guys check out or pull away from you during a heated emotional exchange, now you’ll know why.
Now let’s get into how to know if he’s hiding his love –
Is He Hiding His Feelings – Or Is He Not Interested?
CLUE #1: He Gets Jelly…
And by “jelly” I mean JEALOUS.
You’ll see it in the simple moment when you mention another guy, or an ex-boyfriend, and his expression and his eyes change. You might not know what happened there, but you know SOMETHING just changed between you.
That’s usually when he’s trying to cover up the one emotion he knows will probably kill your interest in him – JEALOUSY. It’s kind of cute in a way.
Any feelings of jealousy a guy has about you are signs of interest most of the time.
If, however, he never does anything when he has the opportunity to act on it, there could be some issues with him. (I’ll explain more about this in a bit…)
CLUE #2: He Takes The Initiative…
For him to be the kind of man that you desire, you have to have a man that will take action and go after what he wants. And this includes going after YOU!
Let me share one of my little “rules” with you –
CARLOS’ RULE: If he doesn’t take action on his interest in you, then he isn’t worth your time.
This is not going to be a popular rule for anyone, but it’s essential that you understand
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Is He Hiding His Feelings Or Not Interested In Me?
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How To Grab His Attention
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How To Grab His Attention – 7 Secrets
I’m going to start right out and tell you that this is not going to be like other articles that give you the same “cosmo” kind of advice about how to grab his attention. You have to get this kind of advice from a MAN.
And yes, I’m that man.
There are a lot of articles out there that tell you to pose sexy, dilate your eyes, wear red, etc. While it’s true that this is interesting stuff to read about, it will not give you ANY edge when you want to grab his attention.
Sometimes you just want his attention BACK on you after losing it…
I’ll bet you would like an unfair advantage against other women out there. You just don’t know how to really make him see you.
Of course the first thing you want to do when you meet a new guy is to get him to really see you. And if you’ve been in a relationship for a while, you know that the glow often disappears and you might feel taken for granted.
Or worse – he disappears or ghosts you. That’s not fun at all.
But there’s a really big mistake women make when it comes to getting the attention of the man they desire. In fact, it’s the biggest mistake:
How To Grab His Attention – BIG MISTAKE: Attracting attention instead of INTEREST!
It’s one thing to have him notice you – and another thing completely to get him feeling emotional desire for you. You have to know this difference and know how to make him really feel it.
- Some women think it’s enough to wear the right clothes, push their boobs up to their neck, reveal some leg…
- Some women think it’s enough to wear a really fragrant perfume…
- Some women think they need to laugh louder or act more “visible…”
- Some women think they have to flip their hair, bat their eyelashes, lick their lips, or act seductive…
All of these methods will only make you look like you’re trying too hard.
Women everywhere get SEEN by men. That’s not hard. But you have to ask yourself HOW you are being seen.
How do you WANT to be seen?
As a guy, I can tell you that we see through most obvious ploys. We know when a woman is TRYING to get attention. We also sense the women that are less overt with their behavior and act more demure, when it’s backed up with FEMININE CONFIDENCE. (More on this in a minute.)
So now let’s get into the meat of how to grab his attention…
TIP 1: Know Your Target…
Look, you might think this bit of advice sounds a bit mercenary, but you need to know something about this guy that other women don’t. Men are all too familiar with the women who only seem to want to have men worship at their feet. If he’s a little older than, say, a college frat-boy – well, you’re gonna want to be smarter than the average girl.
Most men (not boys) want to know THEY are of interest to you. And the way to let him know you’re interested is to get a little information about him up front.
If this is a guy you’ve just met, you want to ask him questions about his life. Find out what makes him tick.
- What are his hobbies?
- Where has he travelled?
- What drives him and motivates him?
If you ask the usual small talk questions, you will bore him fast.
Now, if this is a guy in your social circle, you should also try to learn more about him from his social media presence. Check out his Facebook page…
What’s he into?
Who does he know?
Any common friends…?
What is his personality type…”
And always keep your eye out for the next level –
TIP 2: Look At The ...
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How To Grab His Attention
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How To Connect With Him Emotionally
Is He The One? Find out: https://www.datingfire.com/ishetheone
How To Connect With Him Emotionally
If you’d like to know how to connect with him emotionally, you might find yourself beyond confused. Men don’t have the same emotional connection that you might find you have with your girlfriends, after all.
And if you don’t understand how to connect with a man using his special needs – you could be walking into a minefield.
Most men pull away from love relationships when he has a struggle to connect with his partner. He will assume the struggle is a “YOU” thing and not a “ME” thing, and he’ll assume you’re NOT the One for him. And marriage will be out of the question.
This is why it’s so imperative that you know how to communicate and connect with him to get him to trust you and open up to you.
If you’d like to know if you have an emotionally unavailable man in your relationship or marriage, you might like my article on that HERE…
It doesn’t matter where you are in your relationship – first date or fiftieth date – the principles are the same. You have to know the way into his heart and be able to connect with him. Better than his buddies can, and definitely better than any other women can. (Yes, including his mom!)
Especially if you desire marriage at some point.
In fact, one of the first mistakes most women make in a growing love relationship (or their marriage) is to prioritize the sex over the talking. Usually this is because our society and culture has prioritized the physical part of relationships as being more important.
And let’s face it – Communication isn’t easy!
Or… is it?
You’re going to be surprised at the real answer. I’ll share that answer after I show you the steps of –
How To Connect With Him Emotionally
TIP: Start sexy & fun…
The truth is that if a man senses that a conversation you’re going to have with him could lead to NOT HAVING SEX, he’s going to check out and withdraw. He won’t risk it.
I cover this in complete detail in my Passion Phrases program – but the fact is that men don’t just want sex; we NEED it. It’s a biological requirement for men to fall in love.
And one of the places where a man feels as if he has NO control is in the area of the bedroom. Men always feel that they’re at the whim of the woman when it comes to satisfying his physical intimacy needs. If his girlfriend or wife isn’t “in the mood,” he’s got to either wait or “handle it” himself.
It’s even MORE true in marriage, by the way.
And trust me when I tell you that you NEVER want your man feeling like he should go anywhere else but you for those intimate love needs. That’s part of marriage for a man.
So one of the best ways to get him to connect with you emotionally is to make sure your communication starts out sexy, fun, and light in tone. No matter what the topic might be!
Men need to be eased into communication.
The best way to make it easy for him is to start out on common ground with him.
Ever wonder why guys joke around so much with each other, giving them a hard time, etc.? Because this is the default “small talk” for guys. It’s allows guys to communicate in emotional ways but not be all sentimental and vulnerable at the start.
(Again, don’t shoot the messenger here. I’m telling you the Truth that most other dating and relationship experts won’t tell you.)
EXPERT TIP: He NEEDS Touch Intimacy…
Here is one area that men and women are actually very similar: We both crave physical touch as part of connection.
Women often use touch to “level set” the group if she says something strong or conspicuous. A woman will reach out to touch other women in the group instinctively to manage strong feelings.
Observe a group of women where one woman may start crying about something that’s really affecting her. The other women with her will almost immediately reach in and hold her to reassure her and contain her feelings.
And to stop her from dwelling on her sadness!
Men need intimate touch during communication to be vulnerable. It helps us to feel safe and “held.”
So be sure you use touch in the right way to keep him feeling safe, connected, and open to talking with you. It’s a huge marriage tip for you as well.
TIP: Watch The Limits…
Men have a limit to how much emotional content they can handle in a conversation. If it gets to be too much, he will feel “flooded.”
This is actually the term for when a person feels that they are ...
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How To Connect With Him Emotionally
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Is He The One For You?
"Is He The One For Me?" FIND OUT HERE: https://www.datingadviceguru.com/ishetheone
We’re all looking for “The One” that we hope is out there for us. We hope that person is out there – and if the guy you’re with is him. And that’s what we’re going to cover here as I answer that question: Is he the one for you?
You might have even found yourself wondering this about the guy you’re with – or maybe even ALL the guys you’ve dated in the past. The way most of us find out is if we break up, then we know they’re NOT “The One.”
And let’s face it, we often get together with someone for the wrong reasons – or at the wrong time.
Of course, we can’t possibly know if a person was “destined” to be with us until we’re with them. But there are signs you can look for that will show you if you’ve got someone that is worth sticking around for.
Because you don’t want to waste your time with the WRONG guy. And that’s what I’m here to do – save you from making the wrong decisions.
So how would you know if he’s the right guy for you? Let’s go through the signs…
Secret Sign 1: He’s “The One” If You Feel THE PULL…
The Pull is that inevitable attraction we feel for someone.
But you have to also be careful – many people let physical / sexual attraction replace their common sense in the process.
The human body (and brain) is designed to hypnotize you into taking the first guy that really starts your engine. Your brain gets flooded with a half-dozen love hormones that you simply can’t resist.
Which is why you have to pay attention at the start so that you don’t get pulled into orbit around the wrong guy.
There are two kinds of attraction you MUST feel if he’s going to be The One:
Physical/Sexual – This is the hardcore “lust” stuff – where you two just can’t keep your hands off each other…
Mental/Emotional – This is where you’re attracted to the IDEA of him as well. It’s a different kind of attraction that is harder to notice…
And it’s that second one – the mental/emotional attraction – that many people completely ignore because they’re getting all wild-monkey-love with their new lover.
There was a time when you could just go with the sexual attraction, but now we’re evolving to a place where we don’t need to make our mating decisions based on our crazed hormones.
So watch to see if you’re really feeling infatuation with him – or you’re really drawn to his personality. Chemistry IS important – but so is his soul.
Which actually brings us to the next Secret Sign he is THE ONE for you:
Secret Sign 2: He’s Got The GOODS…
Before I started coaching women on how to be more successful with men and relationships, I started out in the world of men’s dating advice. I spent about 8 years coaching men on the qualities that women look for in men.
Well … at least the qualities women SHOULD look for in men. You want to spot any of his faults, but also know his strengths.
So let me share a few of the essential character qualities you want to look for. (And in case you’re wondering, these are the same ones I coach my own son on every day. So you can be sure they are for real!)
Character Quality 1: Honesty.
Yes, it goes without saying that you can’t have a strong relationship where there is no honesty. In fact, I usually leave “Trust” out as a quality, because if you have the honesty, the trust comes naturally.
Your man has to stick to the truth-telling side if you’re going to have a lasting, loving relationship with him. If you detect that he’s playing loose with the facts to protect himself, or cover up his problems, you have to nip that in the bud, as they say.
Character Quality 2: Communication.
Again, he’s got to be a reasonably well-intentioned communicator. Guys will fumble and fall when it comes to communicating their feelings and needs, but they can be trained!
Communication ties in directly with your method of handling conflict in your relationship. If your styles do not match (i.e., you get loud and emotional, and then he goes silent) you will find that you have a long challenging road ahead of you.
He doesn’t have to be great at communication, but he does have to show...
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Is He The One For You?
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How To Turn Him On - 7 tips
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How To Turn Him On – 7 Tips For 2020
The one way you can be sure you’ve got a guy under your spell is if you know how to turn him on. And since I’m a guy, I can tell you better than any woman can about what it takes to turn a guy on.
Of course, when women ask me “How do I turn him on?” – what she really wants to know is how to grab his attention and make him want her like nothing else. (and no ONE else!)
If you can get him feeling that kind of sexual attraction for you, you can get almost any guy to fall in love with you.
Now at the risk of sounding over simplistic, there are two kinds of things you can do to turn him on:
- Big things
- Little things
That may sound obvious, but it’s not. First of all, the BIG things are the things you can do that are fairly obvious. Like leading him on physically, or sending him sexts. Let’s be real, it doesn’t take a whole lot to actually arouse a guy’s libido.
But once you get over the age of 30, that method of flirting with a guy can seem a little too obvious – and uncomfortable to use. You kind of outgrow it.
Some women don’t feel they have the physique to pull off texting him racy pictures. And some of the things that you might hear used in sexting just sound creepy.
I get it – they just feel like the desperate attempts of an insecure teenager. (And honestly, most of the other sites out there talk about tips that only work for desperate teenagers.) You don’t need to be vulgar to win him into your bed.
And when it comes to the little things, you might worry that he just won’t get it. He might completely miss what you’re doing. And guys are kind of oblivious to subtle flirting and seduction.
Both the little and the big things work – and that’s what I’m going to show you here in this article…
Here Are 7 Tips To Turn Him On
Let’s start with:
Sexy Turn On #1: Hit Him With The Fantasy…
It’s been said that “men think about sex about 8000 times per day.” There was even a scientific “study” that supposedly showed this.
The problem is – there is no such study. And the number 8000 is completely made up.
Yup, it’s an urban legend.
The truth is that a survey was completed studying men and women between 18 and 25 years old. (Yeah, it’s always done on college students – they’re the ones that need the beer money.) So take this with a grain of salt, since we know how college kids think.
The results of this study?
The median number of sexual thoughts for MEN was 18.6 – and for WOMEN it was 9.9.
So for the quick-and-dirty interpretation, men think about sexy-time about twice as much as women do. Which isn’t really all that surprising, is it? But it is FAR from the ridiculous 8,000 times a day number that someone made up.
The reality is that making anyone fantasize about another person is going to make them want to turn into reality after a while. If you know about my “crystallization effect” – you know that men will fall in love with women who they think about all day long.
So a great way to turn him on is to turn on his fantasy machine – his brain!
Just send him a text of a sexy dream you had about him… or a sexy fantasy of yours. And ask him to finish it…
Or send him a link to a really arousing bit of erotica online somewhere…
Or send him an email with hints about the next time you two can get together…
Don’t underestimate the power of a man’s imagination when it comes to turning him on.
Turn Him On #2: Always When You Can’t…
One of the most powerful of the lost arts of seduction is the art of TEASING a man. I talk about this quite a bit in my articles, videos, and programs for women.
If there’s one thing you must understand it’s that people really do respond to The Law Of Hard To Get. This law simply states that we want whatever we cannot have. Mother nature has seen fit to instill this in our brains since the dawn of humans.
This law is so strong, in fact, that even ANIMALS respond to the Law of Hard-to-Get!
Have you ever played with a cat before? Maybe it was a laser pointer or with that fuzzy blob on a string.
Whatever the method, you know how it works: You put the toy out there for the cat, it chases it.
This method of play also works on a man’s mind for the exact same reason.
All you do to use this one to your advantage is to ...
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How To Turn Him On
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How to flirt with a guy over text
Is He Really Into Or Has He Lost Interest? Find out:
https://www.datingadviceguru.com/doesheloveme
How to flirt with a guy over text
How To Flirt With A Guy Over Text… 3 Sexy-Flirty-Confident Steps
Knowing how to flirt with a guy over text is one of the dating tools that your mom never had to deal with years ago. But if she’s single, she might have to know how to do it – the same way you do!
It’s not hard to keep a man interested – if you know what to say to him. The problem is that most women don’t really understand the differences in how men communicate versus how women do. There are some things that can blow up in your face if you don’t take care to get the right words and the right phrasing.
A good friend of mine gives advice online (similar to what I do for women.) But she gives advice to MEN. And one of the big mistakes I see is that she talks to guys the same way she talks to women – using the same words. And they sound really awkward to a guy’s ear.
Phrases like:
“Blow your socks off.” I can’t remember the last time anyone said that to me that wasn’t 80 years old and jangling quarters in their pockets…
“Namby pamby.” Again, not a term that men find helpful or even understandable…
The moral of that story is that you want to really think about the words and the phrases you use with men, because a simple wrong word at the wrong time could be all he needs to look elsewhere.
Speak his language!
Now, before we get started, I want to tell you about how these texts work.
You need to know that there is only one way that text flirting can help you – it’s to get him emotionally connected to you.
And you do this with my “Magic Formula.”
The Magic Formula For Flirting With Guys Over Text:
Flirt and get him excited about you…
Get in person with him to “lock him down”
That’s it – nothing more and nothing less.
The second step, what you do when you get in person with him, that’s something I reveal in my programs.
But when it comes to the first step: “Flirt and get him excited about you” – that’s what I’m going to outline for you here today!
Now, let’s get started…
So, how do you actually flirt with a guy over text messages?
Well, a good part of it is attitude. In fact, if I had to give you either ATTITUDE or the WORDS to use, you’d be better off with attitude every day of the week.
Because the truth is:
It’s not only what you say, it’s how you say it.
If there’s one thing I want you to get from this article, it’s that if you have the right attitude, you can say almost anything to anyone.
Yes, the words are important, too. I’ll come back to this in a bit so you can understand what words work with men.
In fact, there’s a really good chance you’re looking up this article because you know what you’re doing isn’t working the way you want it to. AND you don’t want to keep making these mistakes with him.
HOW TO TEXT FLIRT WITH HIM – STEP ONE: Know The Rhythm…
Depending on where you are with your guy, how long you’ve been dating him, etc, you could have a bunch of goals for the two of you. But the important thing to know is this: What is the next step?
On the path to a long-term relationship – or even marriage – there are MANY steps. But the only one you should be concerned with is THE NEXT ONE.
Don’t get ahead of yourself. Just focus on the next thing that needs to happen – and that will tell you what the next “beat” in the rhythm of love is for you.
So there’s a rhythm of texting you should follow. If you just met him, don’t focus too much on when/how you text him. That will make you a little crazy and over-analytical.
Just work on getting the first meetup with him – whether that’s coffee, lunch, or whatever.
And don’t be afraid to be the one to initiate with a simple text like this:
“Hey, if you’re going to ask me to lunch this week, better hurry – I’ll be out of town next week… ;-)”
If you’re going to flirt with him, you want to be brave, but not vulgar. It’s a fine balance between turning him on, and being a “good girl” that a guy wants to pursue.
Knowing the rhythm of when to text and when not to text is important, because very often we use texting at the wrong times. Sometimes you need to follow up with a phone call – or an email.
Texting is not the ONLY form of electronic communication. And the fact that it’s so casual and convenient leads a LOT of people to over-use it!
Which leads me to this:
TIP: Do Not Use Texting For
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Carlos Cavallo
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Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/carlosdatingguru
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How to flirt with a guy over text
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"How do I know I love him?" Signs
Does He Really Love You? Find out: https://www.datingadviceguru.com/doesheloveme
How Do I Know I Love Him…?
If you’re not sure about your relationship, you might find yourself wondering “How do I know I love him?” You want to be sure he’s the one, right?
And you want to be sure you’re not fooling yourself. You need to know that this isn’t an illusion…
Are you dreaming?
Are you just infatuated?
Are you reading him right?
Now, to be truthful, you have to know that a lot of the signs you’re in love are the same for if HE is in love with you. Which means, if you’re really in love with him, you’ll see him doing a lot of the same stuff you’re probably doing!
Love is an emotion that is hard to define. As the saying goes, you might not be able to tell when it’s love, but you usually know right away when it’s NOT love.
What I’ll do for you in this article is show you some of the ways you can know for sure that you’re in love.
So how do you know you love him?
Let’s start with:
SIGN YOU’RE SMITTEN: Anytime, Anyplace!
If you’re digging a guy, you’ll likely find any reason you can to see him.
Which also means that if this guy calls you up and asks you to do something, you’ll drop everything to do it.
BAD MOVE!
I’m not saying you need to refuse him – that would be taking “hard to get” too far. No, what I’m going to propose is that you be careful about being TOO available for him.
You want him to appreciate you. And people don’t appreciate what they get too easily.
As I say, if every football team got a super bowl ring and trophy at the end of the season, the sport would die. There is prestige and glory to winning the super bowl, and that’s why it’s such a fierce competition.
We don’t appreciate what comes too easily.
SIGN YOU’RE DIGGING HIM: There’s No Ledger…
In accounting, you have to “balance the books” every day. In other words, you need to know that your money is all tracked – and all the ins and outs are fully accounted for. All those numbers are kept in a ledger.
The problem with many relationships – especially the “out of balance” ones that I work with – is that there are too many people who make love a transaction. They only give to get, and wait to get before they give.
Tit-for-tat, you scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours…
Instead of a giving and letting themselves enjoy giving for its own sake.
The reason many people get stuck in this way of thinking is because a great many people feel deprived and starved of love. They didn’t get the kind of love they wanted in their family, so when they get older, they feel that love is scarce.
The reality is that love is EVERYWHERE! The universe is made out of love.
But when your emotions were formed and shaped by never getting the love you want, it might be hard to feel like there’s plenty of love out there!
SIGN YOU’RE IN LOVE: That Sushi Looks Like Him…
When you’re in love – the real kind – you’ll notice that everything seems to remind you of him.
You’ll turn on Netflix and see a show he mentioned…
You’ll go shopping and see a store that reminds you of him…
You’ll eat at a local sushi restaurant and see some Sashimi that looks like him laughing…
Okay, that last one is a stretch, but not that much. You’re going to start finding that everything you do seems to remind you of him.
This is actually a scientifically proven effect. It’s like when you buy a new car, and all of a sudden you see that everyone seems to have bought the same car.
How is this possible?
Well, it’s not because everyone bought the same car. Or that you now have a ton of coincidences and destiny putting your man in your life.
It’s because you have a
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Carlos Cavallo
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Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/carlosdatingguru
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How do I know I love him
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Man withdrawing from you? SOLVED!
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Man Withdrawing From You? SOLVED
Do you have a man withdrawing from you? And I’m not talking about withdrawing money from your bank account…
Are you wondering right now: “Why is my man pulling away from me?”
One thing I get asked all the time from men AND women is “Why does he/she do that?”
“THAT“ meaning anything that seems different or confusing. Why someone would pull away and withdraw from us is always confusing, painful, and difficult.
Women tend to notice men pulling away emotionally, and men notice when women pull away physically (sexually) from him. We are each wired to notice the other’s behavior in different ways.
You sense his feelings; he senses your level of physical intimacy.
So why does he pull away from you?
Why does it seem like you’re not even on his mind anymore?
Most men don’t have an emotional vocabulary to explain this stuff to you. So what I’ll do here for you is explain why men withdraw from a relationship.
Withdrawal Reason 1: He’s not emotionally mature.
I’m talking about those guys out there who never really worked to evolve their emotions beyond high school level interactions with other people.
A big sign of this problem is when you find yourself with a passive aggressive man. Passive aggressive behavior is when a guy won’t say DIRECTLY what it is he wants, but instead HINTS at it.
EXAMPLE: “I’m not mad.” (When you know darn well he is!)
EXAMPLE: “Fine. Whatever. I don’t care.” (When you know darn well he does!)
Sarcasm is another way men (and women) avoid connection and protect themselves when it comes to relationships.
So when you see him demonstrating these signals of immaturity, take a good close look. Most of the time you can see where his communication style evolved by observing his interaction with his mother and father. That will tell you quite a bit about where your communication will struggle.
You need a man with a healthy and mature ability to handle his feelings.
Withdrawal Reason 2: He’s got intimacy issues…
Let me be really clear here:
If you compare men to women, men will always appear to have “intimacy issues.”
Why is this?
Women are simply hard wired to connect about things in a more emotional level of communication. And it’s something most women have spent nearly every day thinking about since before they got in elementary school.
It’s like a sloth comparing himself to a kangaroo… the sloth always going to appear to have “speed” issues.
Can you imagine kangaroos huddling together and gossiping about sloths?
“Dude, can you believe how slow Dave is? I think he’s totally got speed issues. I’m going to get him to go see a therapist.”
That would sound a bit wacky, wouldn’t it? Sending a sloth to a therapist for something that is basically its nature?
And yet, that’s what women often think about guys who don’t express intimacy in the same way she does. In this case, men are declared “faulty,” immature, etc.
Mind you, there are men who do have intimacy issues. This is typically when a man is pulling away from intimacy because it genuinely scares him to be vulnerable to a woman.
And if we’re keeping the score accurately, women have just as many intimacy issues as men do. It’s the same deal for men and women.
(Just because you talk about emotions doesn’t mean you’re vulnerable and tuned in to why you’re feeling a certain way. Even good social skills doesn’t mean you’re better at intimacy…)
What’s important for you is to define intimacy for yourself first.
What kind of intimacy do you need?
What kind of intimacy does NOT work for you?
How often do you need it?
Do you need words, action, or some other kind of communication?
Do you really need to talk about his feelings, or can you accept that he may prefer demonstrating them? (instead of talking about them)
Can you handle it if a man’s “intimacy language” is different than yours is?
Once you’ve defined intimacy for yourself, you now have a clear idea of what you should look for in a relationship partner. And you probably won’t have him pulling away from you as much when he feels accepted.
(By the way, I explain how women disconnect from men emotionally HERE…)
Withdrawal Reason 3: He’s Just Not Sure…
What happens when a man feels like he’s not sure?
WATCH THE VIDEO FOR THE ANSWER!
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Carlos Cavallo
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Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/carlosdatingguru
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Man withdrawing from you? SOLVED!
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25 Undeniable Signs He Likes You...
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25 Undeniable Signs He Likes You – Maybe LOVES You!
Things would be so much easier if the guy you want to date would just show you undeniable signs he likes you, too. Wouldn’t it make this whole dating & relationships thing much easier?
And the reality is that these indicators can also be signs he loves you if they’re dialed up a bit more, too.
In all my years of coaching and work with people, the one thing I’ve noticed is that a woman wants to read a man’s signs, but rarely wants to find out directly how he feels. And who would, right? We all want to risk as little as possible, because it would really suck to find out you read him wrong.
If there’s a chance he likes you – you will want to find more evidence before you put your interest out there.
So instead of gambling, let’s take a look at some of the signs that his feelings for you are more than just friends…
Let’s start with:
Sign #1: Yummy Eye Contact
Yup, it’s an all time favorite around here. Eye contact says he likes you like nothing else. It’s the king of the nonverbal indications of desire.
BUT – there’s something I’ll bet you don’t know about a guy’s eye contact skills.
You see, men are also very shy when it comes to making strong eye contact these days. It comes from a little-known part of psychology, where many shy or “not so Alpha” guys are afraid of being seen.
And men don’t make that kind of smoking-hot, Sean Connery, knee-buckling eye contact anymore.
They’d rather have women fall into their lives, but then they realize that this doesn’t usually happen. Mostly because women prefer men to make the first move. (Don’t tell me you’d like it the other way, because it’s just not true.)
I’m not crazy about this trend in men of being so weak, but it’s real anyways.
So realize that if he isn’t making super face-melting eye contact with you, it doesn’t necessarily mean he doesn’t like you. It just means he might be awkward and very self-conscious about his interest in you.
But otherwise, you’ll probably notice him try to sneak glances at you when he thinks you won’t notice. If you catch him doing this a lot, it’s pretty obvious he likes you.
Sign #2: Attention! Attention!
There’s one thing that always indicates which woman a man wants to make his girlfriend. It’s been shown in scientific studies, and countless other experiments.
And the woman he desires is always the one he’s giving his attention to more than the others.
Now, before you come to the wrong conclusion that this means you have to be beautiful to get his attention, let me clear that up.
Men are initially attracted to pretty women, but they pay attention to the women that engage him in the most connecting and heartfelt conversation.
I’m telling you now: It’s nearly ALWAYS true.
I can’t tell you how many times I would talk to an exceptionally beautiful woman and realize that she has been drawn into her own vanity and superficial beliefs about the world.
The reason I chose almost every single woman I dated was because she kept my interest through conversation and fun times.
That’s it! You don’t even have to be witty or charming – just EASY to be around.
Sign #3: His Funny Factor Explodes…
A guy’s sense of humor goes into overdrive the second he’s around a woman he likes. He just stops thinking, and starts being a goofball to get you to laugh.
I think men understand on a gut level that if he can make you laugh enough, you’ll probably start to like him. We understand that there is nothing more emotionally attractive than someone with a great sense of humor. (Even guys give a priority to funny women…)
So when you talk to a guy and his attempts to make you laugh start, you’ve got a fish on a hook.
Sign #4: Mr. Green Shows Up…
When that ol’ green-eyed monster – JEALOUSY – shows itself, you know you’ve got a guy who is emotionally interested in you.
Remember that the nastiest of our emotions also speak to how much we’re feeling about someone. Some of the most heinous crimes were committed for love – and jealousy. So they have a lot of power!
When a guy starts acting jealous about you doing something this weekend with some other guy, you’ll know in a heartbeat that he
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Carlos Cavallo
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Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/carlosdatingguru
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25 undeniable signs he likes you
https://youtu.be/qEArbrXtVmo
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Signs A Man Is Attracted To You At Work
For more on how to get into his thoughts and make him obsessed: https://www.datingadviceguru.com/obsession
Signs A Man Is Attracted To You At Work
So you’re standing there talking (and making flirty eye contact) with that cute guy from marketing over a cup of coffee about the latest episode of “It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia.” It’s right about now that you’d love to know what signs a man is attracted to you at work, right?
Knowing if he’s interested would at least help you figure out if you have a good chance with him.
It’s only natural to look for a sign of attraction, because no one wants to put themselves out there and be embarrassed when he isn’t interested back. It shouldn’t really matter, but it does.
And with so many subtle body language signs he could be giving, you gotta know which signs to pay attention to.
These days, you also have to be aware of all the rules and limits about romance in the workplace, too. You don’t want to invite his interest and then get in trouble over it later.
Before we cover the signs a man is attracted to you, let me help you stay out of trouble with a few rules up front:
RULE #1: Remember – Keep It SECRET!
Seriously – you’ll be really tempted to let all your girlfriends know about your little taboo coupling with this guy (if it develops, of course.) But don’t talk about it!
First of all, if it doesn’t work out, you won’t have risked your reputation or your job. This is a very real risk…
Second, if there are other people who are more ambitious (and less scrupulous) at your workplace, you’ll find yourself in a bit of a scandal…
Take it from a guy who used to date in the work place – you don’t want the extra attention. Play it safe!
Carlos Cavallo, Dating and Attraction Adviser
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I dated two women very seriously for several years from previous jobs. And one of these relationships was in an office with only 4 other people! It wasn’t easy keeping it a secret, but we had to.
If your romance goes well, eventually one of you can either request a transfer, or leave the company. Though, I won’t kid you about how difficult that decision could be.
Loose lips sink ships! Keep your romance where it belongs – between you and him ONLY.
RULE 2: Take it SLOW!
There’s no rush here. If anything, you want to be extra cautious about moving forward. Yeah, I know – you want to get this thing from zero to husband in 60 days… just so you can reveal it to everyone and impress them with the man you landed.
But you really have to be a bit more cautious. Especially with all the complications that could happen if things go sour on you.
Plus, you have to be aware that you can have a flirty attraction with someone for a long time before you finally go out on a date with someone. Which makes it easier to jump in faster with that person because you have this huge romantic / sexual charge built up with him.
Go slow… watch for the signs he’s not just interested in you, but that he’s a stable guy.
RULE 3: Never With The Boss!
I know this one should be common sense, but if there’s one thing you should NEVER do it’s date your boss, or a subordinate. In fact, it’s best if you don’t date ANYONE in your same department – even if they’re a peer. (And absolutely no workplace romance with a married man!)
If he gets promoted, or YOU get promoted, then you’ve got extra weirdness.
And let’s get real here – how long do you think your coworkers will take to figure it out?
And when power dynamics enter into your romantic relationships, it will cause more problems and complications. It doesn’t create a level playing court for you both to develop a real solid relationship.
The truth is that this is one thing to avoid at all costs. No romance is worth messing with your livelihood.
RULE 4: BE COOL!
If things are good or bad between you while dating, be sure to NEVER ...
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Carlos Cavallo
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Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/carlosdatingguru
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Signs A Man Is Attracted To You At Work
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How to get a guy to want you...
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How To Get A Guy To Want You
If you’ve been dating at all in your 30s, 40s and up, you’ve probably found yourself wondering at some point if a guy really wants to be with you. You’re trying to read his signals. And that means that you want to know how to get a guy to want you and how to get him interested in you.
It’s not always easy to find the committed relationship you want when you’re struggling to get this man to see that you’re the right woman for him.
I’m going to answer some of the important questions about how to get a guy to want you right here and now.
And because you have to start any relationship with DESIRE if you want to be his girlfriend – or if you want him as your husband in the future – you need to know how men think.
Likes and dislikes aside, there’s always a reason a man falls in love with a woman. And you’ll have the advantage if you know HOW this happens with men.
So let’s dig right in with…
TIP 1: Get Him To Pay Attention To You…
It might seem like a pretty obvious tip – but one of the most important steps to nailing this person – this man – down as your boyfriend is knowing how to get him to give you his attention. If he’s not noticing you, he’s not attracted to you.
Now, you don’t have to resort to any kind of cheap attention-getting techniques to attract him or get him interested, like showing off or being loud. Those always work against you anyway.
But escaping the friend zone and creating some real sexual attraction with him is going to require you to know what makes men pay attention to one woman more than another.
Here are a few things men notice:
How you smell – the right perfume will work in your favor… the wrong one (or too much) will work against you…
When you check other guys out – You thought we were clueless about this one, huh? Well guys know when women do this – even if you’re less obvious than men are. If you want him to want you, avoid the visual “shopping” when you’re out…
Your hair – Yeah, you knew it was important to have luminous, flowing hair – but you might not realize how men look at your hair to decide how you must be taking care of yourself. Good hair = good self care…
Your Body Language – How you move gives away your thoughts and feelings in so many different ways. Just think about what YOU read in a man’s body language! The fact is that you can’t trick someone by saying one thing with your words and saying something else with your body. So learn how to present the best attitude with your body language…
Look, we men notice just about EVERYTHING about a woman, even if we might not be able to conjure the words after meeting you. It’s only later on that we figure out what made us feel attracted to you. And by then, it’s too late!
If you see a guy you want to pay attention to you, go ahead and intentionally “run into” him – literally bump into him if necessary. Men don’t care how you get into our field of awareness – only that you do!
(And most guys are clueless about the “bump into him” trick, so don’t worry – he won’t notice!
TIP 2: Show Him Some Personal Power…
One of the things that good men really desire is high self-esteem in a woman. But that may not mean what you THINK it means. Pop psychology has redefined what “high self esteem” is in the last 40 years or so. And it’s not very accurate.
Let me start by giving you an idea what confidence is NOT:
It’s not being “a b*tch”
It’s not “playing hard to get”
It’s not “dominating” men
It’s not “diminishing men” or by treating him like a little boy (which seems to be a popular fad in the media these days)
It’s not being loud or crude in public
It’s not a “mind trick” of making yourself feel good even when you don’t…
A man wants to see some indications that you’re a strong person and can stand on your own two feet. And – yes – he wants to know that you won’t let him walk all over you.
In fact, he wants to RESPECT you. It doesn’t matter if you met on some dating sites, or you just started talking at a party. A man wants to know that YOU not only respect you, but he can respect you too.
RIGHT FROM THE START!
So when you show him some personal power, you should focus on telling him stories.
Tell him a story that ...
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Carlos Cavallo
Dating Advice Guru
http://www.datingadviceguru.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/carlosdatingguru
===========================================
How to get a guy to want you...
https://youtu.be/2_RxwO5nw4A
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