TheDickShow

I have never forgotten even for a moment. http://patreon.com/thedickshow

Did you cheat on your wife or girlfriend? Well you actually may not have depending on how much your wife or girlfriend weighs. http://patreon.com/thedickshow http://dick.show/episode-153

My Enigma slurring machine is here! Don't get banned again. http://patreon.com/thedickshow http://dick.show/episode-149

Someone tries to blame me for making them self-conscious. They should be more self-conscious. http://patreon.com/thedickshow http://dick.show/episode-151

The sultan of sandwich city calls in after being too smoth. http://patreon.com/thedickshow http://dick.show/episode-148

I'd rather eat bukkake funnel of spiders than see one house centipede. http://patreon.com/thedickshow http://dick.show/episode-148

Politics don't belong on spectrum where the extreme ends converse resembling a horseshoe. Politics are just a big file of fascist and exploitive horseshit. http://patreon.com/thedickshow

Bunch of gay knaves in this one. This is where the word gay comes from. Turns out its true! http://patreon.com/thedickshow http://dick.show/episode-142

http://patreon.com/thedickshow

No one wants to see your shitty one-eyed animal. Get another one. http://patreon.com/thedickshow http://dick.show/episode-135

But the industry, my friends, that was a revolution. http://dick.show/episode-136/ http://patreon.com/thedickshow

Ask a woman when the last time she showered was. If she says it was this week, she's lying. I once knew a woman who used baby wipes for 6 months. And she was hot! http://patreon.com/thedickshow http://dick.show/episode-131

Condoms are too tight. Sweatpants condoms would fix that. http://patreon.com/thedickshow http://dick.show/episode-127

We all know what I'm talking about. Both in the crying thing and the sex thing. Riggs called Danny Glover's character "Rog" in Lethal Weapon. I messed that up. http://patreon.com/thedickshow http://dick.show/episode-129

Women...can't live with em. http://patreon.com/thedickshow http://dick.show/episode-127

Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime; that's why I shit on company time. http://patreon.com/thedickshow http://dick.show/episode-123

I guess the full audio from one of these egg crying jags has just been released. Here is Brittany's telling of it on The Dick Show. This was one of my favorite stories. http://patreon.com/thedickshow http://dick.show/episode-113/

Pencils suck and homework sucks. What's the point of erasing pencils? Just scribble it out like a man. http://patreon.com/thedickshow

Hollywood is expensive. And living in LA can be tough when you have no job, no audience, no book sales, and no balls of any kind. In this video, I offer to pay Maddox's rent if he'll do five minutes of work for me. Maddox, you always wanted to make a living being a content creator, now's your chance! For some backstory, it appears to me (and a lot of other people) that recently, Maddox and one of his sponsors Little Platinum Books attempted some sort of quid pro quo, credit card fraud scheme to fund each other's Patreon and Kickstarters respectively. This attempt was caught by both platforms, but the offer remains. Maddox, if you are that desperate for cash, take me up on my generous offer! http://patreon.com/thedickshow

I did the research. Here I present my findings into the Alex Jones Trans Porn incident to Cody Wilson, the most dangerous man on the internet. http://patreon.com/thedickshow http://dick.show/episode-118

If you burn a Maddox book, AND FILM IT, I will send you a free Dick Show t-shirt. While supplies last! http://thedickshow.com http://patreon.com/thedickshow http://shop.dick.show

The reason it's legal to burn an American flag is because it's a powerful statement, more powerful than calling the government a c*ck and a f*ggot. Burn a Maddox book, film it and send it to me, I'll send you a t-shirt! http://patreon.com/thedickshow http://dick.show/episode-114/

I'm all for a good public display of affection, and erection, but some positions are just not acceptable. No one wants to see some broads roast beef neck while you're grinding your old balls on her Pilates ass. http://patreon.com/thedickshow http://dick.show/episode-114

I'm not looking at it. http://patreon.com/thedickshow http://dick.show/episode-113

We lost a good man. A rage in his honor! http://patreon.com/thedickshow http://dick.show/episode-113/ https://www.gofundme.com/chaseglidden