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http://hindsight.show Ernest Scared Stupid: “I Sure Hope You’re From Keebler!” On this delightful episode, Darth’s friend Jeremy (whose headstone will read “Ernest Scared Stupid ‘Expert’ #TombstoneMoment”) joins in for some Halloween fun in the studio to discuss a staple of all our childhoods, Ernest P. Worrell. For most of us, Ernest was such a constant presence in our lives that we may forget his origin story from this film, which doomed him to dim-wittedness and garbage truck antics. In spite of Ernest’s simple qualities, Darth wants to vacation in the Ernest multiverse, where the rules make way more sense than in the Stephen King universe. Pennywise is all-powerful, but his powers are surprisingly random and limited. Deal with IT, Young Adam. Though Ernest never defeated Sasquatch, he and the Ninja Turtles were the only heroes cool enough to attack their enemies with pizzas. For real though, Jim Varney was someone that this world simply did not deserve. Thank goodness we still have Matt Smith, a.k.a the last Doctor that both Darth and Jason mutually adore and respect. Your beloved podcasters also respect the costumers of Ernest Scared Stupid, who clearly made more of an effort than those of Halloweentown. Naturally, we have questions about this episode and its correlating movie: Why does the town sheriff have any sort of jurisdiction over the sanitation department?Why can’t Jason tell the difference between The Office and Golden Girls?Why do we even HAVE that lever?!? Let us stop asking questions before the weight of logic crushes us beneath the shield of the paper thin plot of this movie. This won’t stop us, however, from professing our crossover theory. Stick with us: Ernest is a supernatural being who was placed in this story…oh nevermind, that’s some utter nonsense that Jason would think up. What we ultimately learn from this film is that trolls are weaker than milk (powdered or otherwise), and are utterly susceptible to Ernest’s tender dancing skills. Trolls are especially weaker than the pure love and memory of Jim Varney, our collective pal and beloved childhood friend. You know what we mean, Vern.

https://hindsight.show Halloweentown: “Being Normal is Vastly Overrated.” Welcome to the first episode of our Halloween series! In this Disney original, we join a brand new guest, Michele, to discuss the story of a powerful witch as she guides her innocent granddaughter down the path of the mysterious and demonic. In this film, Aggie Cromwell has a pet purse that is clearly the bastard child of Mary Poppins’ carpet bag and the Monster Book of Monsters. #Hindsighters, we always thought that our grandmas simply didn’t want us to rifle through and subsequently disorganize their purses; now we know that they were all smuggling pentagrams and fetish dolls. Shockingly, Jason hates this movie even more than Clueless, so he distracted himself with our latest studio toy. Oh yes, listeners, we’ve given Jason the power of sound effects, and Darth regrets everything. In other and utterly superfluous news, Jason will henceforth be known as The Occurrence. He’ll be updating his social media handles accordingly and getting some trashy tattoos. Despite the fluffy nature of Halloweentown, Darth and Jason took away some important lessons: Britney Spears is grocery store music; she has gone the way of the hair scrunchie.Selling your soul to a warlock for good looks is a legit way to go if it lands you date with a witch.Transforming a dead chicken to a live chicken inside a refrigerator is the ultimate prank. In the Lion King, Mufasa tells Simba that “When we die, our bodies become the grass, and the antelope eat the grass.” Halloweentown, however, leaves us hanging with a deeply ecumenical and existential question: When we die, do we go to Halloweentown? Because for Jason, being eaten by antelope might be a preferable option. Regardless of their empirical dilemmas, Darth and Jason have to give mad props to Princess Leia’s mom. Aggie is far too powerful to be defeated by a crappy warlock who roofies people with light-up Poke Balls, even if she cheats on occasion to make spells with Ramen noodle magic. Get excited #Hindsighters, because Darth and Jason look forward to spending their first Halloween season with you. Steel yourselves for plenty of dark humor and a surprisingly diverse selection of movies, because we’re comin’ at ya. Hindsight, OUT.

https://hindsight.show 10 Things I Hate About You : “I Heard He Ate a Live Duck Once.” *DISCLAIMER* Darth takes NO RESPONSIBILITY for these show notes. The men on this particular episode are the conductors of the Hot Mess Express. Also, we have to formally apologize to Randy and decent human beings everywhere because Adam Brown remains the King of wildly necessary editing. We’re telling you, if you think that our passable material is rough, you guys don’t even want to know what we’ve had to cut. Needless to say, we require more crickets and mute buttons. Welcome to Part II of the Battle Royale, where Darth and Katie serve up some pain to the boys in the form of a 1999 classic. This is the episode where we discover that Darth Jader can’t pronounce “subterfuge”, “reprise”, or “salsa”. The most fascinating revelations of this episode, however, are Jason’s obsession with Oscar Isaac and Adam Brown’s crush on Don Johnson, despite being a self-described “flaming heterosexual”. Regardless, neither Oscar nor Don could keep our HIH fellas from frequenting the lesbian bars back in the day. 10 Things I Hate About You teaches us that high schoolers can get drunk and sober up at Light Speed, so a successful party is all about proper snacks and memorable moments. You need brie, table dancing drunk chicks, and a random guy falling off the roof if you expect anyone to enjoy themselves. Listeners, let’s be honest. We know that every high school is different and they all have different agendas and criterion. However, we WILL shame your learning curve if you don’t know how to draw your own genitalia. If you’re falling behind on this lost art, consult your guidance counselor; they’re probably writing dirty novels in their office, anyway. On that note, Ms. Perky is grown-up Tina Belcher, and we are 100% here for it. Speaking of counseling, #Hindsighters, don’t let Jason discourage your love for Harry Potter; get sorted into your Hogwarts house today! JUST TO PISS OFF JASON, HERE’S THIS LINK TO BNL because the music in this movie is incredible. We know you’re biting your nails on the edge of your seats to find out if the guys or girls emerge victorious from this battle of wits and crass comments, so tune in now and enjoy the Battle Royale: Part Deux!

Ferris Bueller’s Day Off : They Think He’s a Righteous Dude! To think, there was once a time when people felt safe enough to make out with Charlie Sheen in a police station (or anywhere else, for that matter). Welcome to the school-ditcher’s guide to Chicago! Listeners, we welcome our first legitimate adult to the podcast, the legendary, the amazing Morgan Rodgers! Darth’s dad showed up on the scene dressed in his sophisticated take on Ferris Bueller, and it just doesn’t get more epic than that. On this particular episode, Jason, Darth, and Morgan discuss the greatest John Hughes film of all time. Ferris Bueller’s Day Off is a feel-good movie where the characters are as light as feathered 80s hair, complete with shoulder pads, leg warmers, and one seriously cool car. To be fair, Cameron may have gotten murdered by his father after he destroyed that beautiful Ferrari, but Ferris runs home in time to witness the defeat of the evil emperor Rooney. And isn’t that what really matters? On our journey through 1986 Chicago with Ferris and the gang, we discovered some fun facts: Twist and Shout was used in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off and Back to School. Finally, a hot meal for Paul and Ringo. Cameron is the protagonist and Ferris is the antagonist. Discuss. Danke Schoen is the gopher through-line of Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. Ben Stein has no room for improvment in his knowledge of economics. Of course, even perfect 80s classics leave us with unanswered questions. Is Abe Froman the real Sausage King of Chicago? We may never know, and we’ll also always wonder why he never showed up to his lunch reservation at that French restaurant. Regardless, the charm of Ferris Bueller prevails. This should be evident if for no other reason than the incredible Mr. Rodgers picked it for his episode. So jump in the Ferrari with your favorite podcasters and enjoy the ride.

http://hindsight.show Animaniacs! Hellllooooooo, NURSE! It’s a momentous episode, listeners, because @Darth_Jader_ and Jason Mitchell welcome their first male guest who isn’t named Adam! But that makes us sound cooler than we are, because this guest is also from our Shakespeare Troupe, a.k.a our only group of friends. We joined our non-Adam acquaintance, our Don Jon, Randy Bampfield, this week to discuss Animaniacs and stroll down memory lane to visit other beloved childhood programming. Who knew a cartoon could be such an eccentrically outlandish variety show? We’re just grateful that it’s nothing like The Brady Bunch Hour. Not even the Brady family had the Wheel of Morality, and they never even TRIED to take over the world. Some of you who love Animaniacs are too young to remember President Bill Clinton on Arsenio Hall back in the day, and it shows. We’ll get over it, however, because we’ve got much bigger things to worry about, like Quentin Tarantino directing a Star Trek movie. Wubba Lubba Dubb Dubb! Which Batman was better? Either way, we’re psyched to announce that we finally found a show that definitively proves Jason’s theory that ANY show or movie can be improved by the presence of the Dark Knight. On this episode, we reminisce about the 80s, when America only watched cartoons starring animal/humanoid hybrids. We’re aware that you young’uns born after the 80s don’t know what Vertical Hold or Laser Discs are. Feel free to see yourselves out. All that to be said, Wendy and Marvin were the Scrappy-Doo of the Super Friends. Fight us. What is your policy on watching nudity with your parents? Our only conclusion is that it’s awkward to watch risqué movies with the people who used to sing you Captain Kangaroo songs when you were a small child. Do with that what you will. If nothing else, listeners, do you yourselves the favor of furthering your knowledge of our awesome guest, the talented Randy Bampfield. He doesn’t have a gun to our heads, or anything. Just go see his shows if you want to make sure that we live to podcast again. We’ll leave you with these scintillating final thoughts: Tom Kenny is reaching Jim Cummings and Mark Hamill levels of ubiquity in the voice-over world. HD killed the special effects of older movies. T.A.R.D.I.S costumes should NEVER be mentioned lightly. Darth should stop inviting boys on this show. Until next time, weirdos. Hindsight OUT.

http://hindsight.show The Adventures of Baron Munchausen – Is There a Doctor in the Fish? Drop some acid, smoke some peyote. Do what you’ve got to do to prepare yourself for one of the trippiest movies of all time. But what else can you expect from Terry Gilliam, a.k.a the animation hippie of the Monty Python universe? Welcome to The Adventures of Baron Munchausen, where suspension of disbelief and avoidance of logical thinking are your only potential survival guides in a world where the hero is named after a mental illness. To answer your question, yes. We are also surprised that this movie was given a grander budget than Highlander. On this madcap episode, we finally figure out the name of that toy that looks like the planet Saturn. To that end, we can only assume that the film’s costume designer was intentionally trying to make Robin Williams look like a Wild Wild West Pogo Ball. If nothing else, we learn that men are far more logical and reasonable when they’re not busy being distracted by their bodily impulses. The King of the Moon did invent Spring, but he also gets super sprung whenever he sees his wife flirting with another man. To make up for a lot of trauma, Terry Gilliam gives us some beautiful moments with Uma Thurman, who has officially joined the ranks of the Hindsight is Horrifying Babes. Uma, your certificate is in the mail. Fun fact: Christopher Lambert was supposed to be in Baron Munchausen, but his wires didn’t lift him high enough to save him from being cut from this movie. We honestly have a hard time believing that anything was cut from this movie, because it went on for way too long. The Adventures of Baron Munchausen forces us to ask ourselves: do our favorite childhood films only reign supreme in our unique senses of nostalgia? Or were they actually good? It’s still up for debate to this day, so we’re sorry for that lack of opinion for once. All we know is that you’ll injure yourself trying to shoe-horn logic into this film. The most conclusive thought we can reach for The Adventures of Baron Munchausen is that giant fish, base-jumping horses, Time Lords with epically large noses, and mild nudity add up to a perfect 2-hour distraction for children. What we know for certain is this: elephants might be afraid of mice, but that’s because they’ve never seen the demon that Meg tried to leave in Darth Jader’s house. Dolls make HORRIFYING house-warming gifts. You read it here first.

http://hindsight.show The Lost Boys – Michael Michael Michael! On our continued 80s kick, we discuss The Lost Boys, where the rules are made up and the lore doesn’t matter! On this episode, we welcome the hardest-working woman in show business, Alicen Cowan, who joins us to discuss the beginning of the reign of the two Coreys. While we most certainly shed a few tears in mourning for the Head Vampire of character actors, Edward Herrmann, this movie makes for a fun stroll through the 80s, where the print was loud and the music was louder. Canadian Kiefer Sutherland makes his first appearance in an American film as the Billy Idol of vampires, and we find that vampirism and douchebaggery are NOT mutually exclusive, especially when you rock pierced ears and sunglasses at night. Even having Alex Winter in your crew can’t save you from that look. Listeners, it doesn’t matter if you’re caught in the throes of a vampire transformation. There is ALWAYS time for blue jean sex, but not if you’re wearing your shoes in bed. Here are some pro tips when dealing with paranormal beings: When you’re dining at a friend’s house, never balk at the cuisine. Even maggots and worms can taste great when you add a little salt and pepper.Melting a vampire in your bathtub is always a messy business and will wreak havoc on the indoor plumbing. Darth and Jason conclude that The Lost Boys eschews vampire tradition by having absolutely no solid rules about supernatural creatures, so that’s fun. In fact, the only traditional aspect of this vampire movie is its strong homoerotic vibes. To that end, shake things up and remember to vote Jason Mitchell for Head Vampire 2020. He may not be the perfect amalgam of action heroes like Edgar Frog, but he will put your tax dollars to work by reinstating tradition in vampire movies . Lastly, The Lost Boys teaches us that it’s okay to drive impaired so long as the only thing you kill is a vampire. Grandpa doesn’t get stoned; he just has fun.

http://hindsight.show Highlander: There Can Be Only One! We got tired of having randos in our studio, so this week, it’s just your beloved Darth and Jason at the helm of this 80s classic that also poses as a complete train wreck. It’s not often that a movie offers up wrestler strip-teases AND immortal blue jean sex, but Jason selected a film that provides them both. Get excited. We can’t decide if Clancy Brown or Tim Curry chews more scenery when they go off the improvising rails. To be fair, Clancy Brown may take home the belt when it comes to nearly murdering fellow actors, but this makes sense if you caught his performance on Rick and Morty. Christopher Lambert was also in this movie at some point, but the real star of the film was his utterly indecipherable accent; in fact, it might be even more nonsensical than the background of his “Egyptian” mentor. Apparently, we can blame Argentina (goodbye to yet another country) and Highlander fans themselves for the poor quality of Highlander sequels. Ultimately, Jason applies the same sense of denial to the sequels that Darth uses for Spider-Man 3. Regardless, this franchise may stand alone as the only one to ever be improved by a subsequent television series. None of this really matters in a film where logic slices through the plot like car battery sparks through a longsword. Honestly, in a movie where quasi-Scottish Bruce Wayne cannot achieve mortal omnipotence until all the immortals are dead, your suspension of disbelief is key. We’d be remiss, however, if we didn’t mention the most timeless aspects of this beloved 80s film. Queen’s amazing music, Peter Diamond’s legendary stunt training, and Sean Connery’s mere 7-day presence help to solidify Highlander as an immortal and treasured classic. Our last piece of advice is this. Ladies, don’t make your man light an annual candle. White Fang his ass and die like a low-maintenance bawse.