When you finally admit black coffee slaps

Nobody warns you that going from sugar coffee to black coffee is basically the coffee equivalent of getting a personality transplant. Day 1: you're out here drinking what tastes like a tire fire mixed with regret. Your facial expression looks like you're trying to solve complex math problems. Day 7: still bad but you're committed to the bit. Day 14: something weird happens and your brain glitches. Day 21: you're suddenly detecting "notes of dark chocolate and berries" like some kind of coffee sommelier who emerged from a very bitter cocoon. Day 30: you're judging everyone else's sugar addiction while conveniently forgetting you were chugging liquid candy three weeks ago. The transformation is real and honestly a little unhinged but here we are, drinking bean water that tastes like dirt and calling it a lifestyle upgrade.

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