Kimmel: ‘At His Age, It’s Incredible that Chuck Schumer Is Still Able to Bend over So Far’

KIMMEL: “Here in the present, we are on day 41 of the Trump government shutdown. Democrats refused to sign on to a bill that would force millions of Americans off of health care and make it much more expensive for those who can afford it. So Democrats drew a line in the sand, they said, ‘We are not going or this,’ and today, after 41 days, pulled out a shovel and a bucket and they ate all that sand. And got nothing for it. Isn’t that great? You know what they got? They got a promise from the Republicans in the Senate to hold a vote on health care some time in the future. And if there is one thing we know about Trump and his merry band of sycophants, it’s that their word is as good as gold. I mean, it’s incredible that at his age, Chuck Schumer is still able to bend over so far. Chuck Schumer is basically every parent who tells their kid ‘That’s it, no more iPad!’ Next thing you know, he’s playing ‘Roblox’ at the dinner table. This was such a big cave by the Democrats, Bruce Wayne offered to buy it. Dick Durbin, the Democrat, told Senate Majority Leader John Thune that he was counting on him to keep his word on this agreement. He said, ‘He assured me he would,’ which is exactly what Lucy said to Charlie Brown with the football. So now, the House will vote and we’ll see how that goes. Turns out, all Trump has to do is threaten to starve poor people and he got his way. I’m sure he’ll never do it again, though.”