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Kimmel: Does Trump Believe California Is ‘Dumb’ Enough to Believe He Turned on Water for the State?
KIMMEL: “Thank you for joining us here at our headquarters in the golden state of California. We had a little bit of rain. We had just enough to put out the fires, but not so much to cause mudslides. Which is good news. But even better news, we got some news last night. We will never have problems with fire here again thanks to a stroke of the sharpie from President Donald j. Trump, who announced last night, ‘the United States military just entered the great state of California and, under emergency powers, turned on the water flowing abundantly from the Pacific northwest and beyond. The days of putting a fake environmental argument over the people are over. Enjoy the water, California!!!’
(Laughter and Applause)
Thank you, we will. Guillermo, fetch me my slip ’n slide, the water is back on!”
GUILLERMO: “Yeah, sure!”
KIMMEL: “Here’s the question. Do you think he actually believes this happened or does he think we’re so dumb, we believe it happened?
(Laughter)
It’s incredible. The minute I saw his post, I ran to my sink, turned it on, and water came gushing out! I let it spray and danced around like I was Shakira or something!
(Laughter)
Unfortunately, the party poopers over at the California Department of Water Resources ruined all the fun. They wrote, ‘The military did not enter California. The federal government restarted federal water pumps after they were offline for maintenance for three days. State water supplies in southern California remain plentiful.’ Oh yeah, right. Just because it’s raining, they turn the pumps off for ‘maintenance!’ How convenient that is!
(Laughter)
Has a president ever been in a Twitter feud with a department of water before? I don’t think so.
(Laughter)
This is such a weird new twist, the whole thing. The military did not enter California. We don’t have a water shortage. The pumps they turned on don’t even connect to the L.A. water system. And the governor’s office released a statement that said, ‘Attempts to connect water management in Northern California to local wildfire fighting in Los Angeles have zero factual basis. California continues to pump as much water as it did under the previous Trump Administration’s policies, and operations to move water south through the delta have absolutely nothing to do with the local fire response in Los Angeles.’ But don’t say any of that to Trump’s new press secretary.”
[Clip starts]
Reporter: “Could you clarify what the military’s role was, where the water came from, and how it got there?”
LEAVITT: “Again, the Army Corps of Engineers has been on the ground in California to respond to the devastation from these wildfires. And I would point out that just days after President Trump visited the devastation from these fires, the water was turned on. That is because of the pressure campaign he put on state and local officials there, who clearly lack all common sense.”
[Clip ends]
(Laughter)
KIMMEL: “Right, clearly. So clearly, it’s invisible, in fact. This might be worse than when he made Sean Spicer say he had the biggest inauguration crowd in history.
(Laughter)
Whether or not the U.S. Military entered California and turned the water on is not a matter of debate. This is not liberal versus conservative. It didn’t happen, okay?
(Laughter)
But no one calls him on it.”
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