90 in 90 - Day 21 - Commiserating - 4th of the 5 C's of Negativity.

90 in 90 - Day 21 - Commiserating - 4th of the 5 C's of Negativity.

Let's continue to the c complaining, criticizing, concern, commiserating, and catastrophizing. Today we are going to discuss the of the 5 C's of Negativity: Commiserating. I hope by doing so, I can release myself from the trap of this negative mindset. Let's see how we can relate todays topic and how it impacts my life.

today we will discuss Commiserating.

Commiserating feels like a way to connect with others over shared struggles, but in reality, it often keeps me stuck in the negativity. When I commiserate, I’m not just acknowledging my pain—I’m amplifying it by focusing on the negative, and it keeps me from moving forward. It can feel comforting in the moment, but it’s a false sense of comfort. Instead of finding solutions or growing from the situation, I’m reinforcing the idea that life is unfair or that nothing will ever get better. Commiserating with others can create a bond, but it’s often built on shared misery rather than shared progress, and that’s not the kind of connection I want.

I have heard it said, misery loves company... well, it might, but is that the company I want?

The more I commiserate, the more I stay stuck in the past, constantly revisiting old hurts or frustrations. It also affects my relationships because it creates an environment where we’re only talking about what’s wrong, instead of lifting each other up or finding ways to improve. Commiserating blocks the positivity and hope I need to fuel my recovery and my growth. The more I engage in it, the more it limits my ability to see the good in my life and take proactive steps to improve.

To overcome this habit, I can start by recognizing when I’m falling into the trap of commiseration. I need to be aware of conversations that center on complaining without purpose. Instead of joining in, I can try to shift the focus to something more constructive. This doesn’t mean I ignore my feelings or the struggles of others, but I can choose to talk about solutions rather than just dwelling on the problems. Surrounding myself with people who encourage growth instead of negativity is key. When I make the conscious decision to stop feeding into the cycle of commiserating, I’m choosing to focus on progress and hope instead of stagnation.

Commiserating is a trap, and the cheese in the trap is always free

It has been my experience that when I stop drinking from the misery fountain, at the water cooler, I begin to feel more optimistic in my world, and the garbage truck conversations that will still happen, whether I am there or not, well, they don't invite me to them... and this is good.
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