Are You Afraid of the Dark? - Episode 0130

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Are You Afraid of the Dark?: “Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society…”

Back in the day, when Melissa Joan Hart was the queen of Nickelodeon (when it was still worth watching), there was this spooky show about campfire stories. We all remember our favorite episodes of Are You Afraid of the Dark?

Or do we…?

When you move into the Grey Gardens house with the Witches of Eastwick, you have to expect a visit from a ghost. However, we all know that Morning Wood is far scarier than any ghost we might encounter.

To that end, Darth can’t decide if it would be cooler to be killed by a ghost or pelted to death with gold coins. Regardless, she takes comfort in the fact that Jason will smother her with a pillow before he allows her to quote John Mulaney in her future nursing home. #Tombstonemoment

On this episode, we welcome back our friend, Marie, as we discuss “Are You Afraid of the Dark?” a show that scared the holy hell out of countless children in the 90s. During this chilling episode, we learn the importance of handing a dead child his own coat, because apparently, even ghosts get cold.

This show does leave us wondering … what’s the creepiest thing a ghost can say? “I’m cold” can’t possibly take home the gold chocolate coins.

And speaking of candy, why don’t circus peanuts take as much abuse as candy corn? Discuss.

The bits of wisdom we extract from this episode are as follows:

It pays to be a Mouseketeer.Liberace could play the typewriter like a BAWSE.Museum exhibits that include dead bodies are TERRIBLY LOUD.

We discuss these fine points and much more on our latest episode. So, #Hindsighters, settle in and throw some non-dairy creamer onto the camp fire, because we don’t care about submitting for your approval.