Sola Satura

HOOTERVILLE - Green Acres hip pet pig is the oldest in captivity ever by the Guinness World Records. Oliver Douglas said his friend's pig, Arnold Ziffel, was only eight weeks old when the owner brought him home from a rescue and he has now been declared the oldest domestic pig at 23 years, 77 days. solasatura.com

CAPE CANAVERAL - Northrop Grumman’s latest space station delivery includes pizza for seven. The company’s Cygnus cargo ship rocketed away today. It should reach the International Space Station by tomorrow. The 8,200 pound shipment includes a pizza making kit for the seven station astronauts. solasatura.com

PALM BEACH - A Florida man washed ashore inside a bubble-like vessel on Wednesday morning after an apparent attempt to walk on water. Deputies responded to calls from citizens who spotted a strange vessel on the beach. The vessel’s sole occupant was discovered safe inside without any injuries. solasatura.com

MARS - Want to find your inner Matt Damon and spend a year pretending you are isolated on Mars? NASA has a job for you. To prepare for eventually sending astronauts to Mars, NASA began the applications process looking for four people to live for a year in Mars Dune Alpha. "F--k you Mars" said Damon. solasatura.com

TOKYO - A sumo wrestler that may have spooked the horses was knocked out of the Olympic equestrian ring Friday night but the course designer is defending his decision to include the lifelike fighter in the first place. "As you come around, you see the big guy’s butt" said designer Santiago Varela. solasatura.com

CAPE COD - Nickelodeon: Researchers discover SpongeBob and Patrick on ocean floor. There are few things more exciting than seeing your favorite movie and TV stars in the flesh. For the friends of a certain yellow sponge, we have good news. Science has just proven that SpongeBob SquarePants is real. solasatura.com

KEY WEST - Florida man bit off part of friend's ear during hotel brawl, authorities say. The bite victim had asked the suspect to stop dumping beer on an unconscious woman. James Lenn Williams, 45, of Port Saint Lucie, was charged with multiple battery charges following the 2:30 AM incident. solasatura.com

SOUTH PADRE ISLAND - Texas hipsters find dead man's body: steal his jewelry and then post it on Snapchat. Phone video exposed the crime after deputies recognized the young men. "We were just walking to a local liquor store and we saw something on the beach" said the men. #Celebrity #Entertainment #People #Politics #Products solasatura.com

CHELEWAH - Washington state man in pale yellow dress steals school bus: rams front end loader into estranged wife’s home. Suspect’s wife fled home before heavy machinery crashed through. Authorities said the man had been released Sunday morning from Western State Hospital, a psychiatric facility. #Celebrity #Entertainment #People #Politics #Products solasatura.com

LOS ANGELES - California air traffic control warns jetpack guy is back. The FBI is investigating what one commercial airline pilot said might have been an airborne person with a jetpack high in the busy skies near Los Angeles International Airport today. "It was George Jetson" said the FBI spokesman. solasatura.com

ARUBA - Sofia Vergara looks incredible on vacation in a pinky Barbie swimsuit. When Sofia was 28, she was diagnosed with thyroid cancer and ended up having her thyroid removed. On account of this Vergara suffers from hypothyroidism where one doesn't get enough thyroid hormone into one's hot pink blood. solasatura.com

BLOOMINGTON - Minnesota based fruit beverage company Orange Julius has hired the former president Donald Trump as their spokesman. Trump will play himself in a 'Baby Blimp' costume and float above new store openings. The brand slogan will be 'Orange Man Bad Tastes So Good' starting next month. solasatura.com

CHICAGO - Sleepy Joe Biden fires up the 'No Malarkey' bus for the president's coronavirus vaccine summer tour during the months of August and September. The mobile medical center will offer free beer and COVID-19 shots at classic rock concerts including the Eagles, Doobie Brothers, and Pat Benatar. solasatura.com

WASHINGTON - President Joe Biden claims three reasons he ran for president: forgets to name any of them. Biden instead pandered to his audience by claiming that without the support of the UAW union, he never would have won his election to the US Senate in 1972. solasatura.com

NEW YORK - An early morning crash on a city expressway caused traffic to be restricted to one lane because the roadway was covered in vegetables. Authorities said the tractor trailer was traveling east on the Brooklyn-Queens turnpike when it overturned, spilling a mass of peppers on the road. solasatura.com

NEW YORK - NYC spine surgeon, beauty queen wife divorce amid claim she’s a hooker. Dr. Han Jo Kim and former Miss Connecticut Regina Turner put their contentious split to bed. It was settled after he made tawdry accusations in court papers that claim she was moonlighting as a high priced call girl. solasatura.com

NEBRASKA CITY - Breaking: Organizers of the attempt to play the game of cornhole for the longest time ever announced that they met their goal and are still going. Andy Fedoris, one of the players said the Guinness World Records time to beat was 26 hours, 13 minutes. solasatura.com

ARLINGTON - Not a Donald Trump rally: Joe Biden tells crowd to ignore hecklers at Virginia speech. “That’s OK, that’s all right. No, no, no, no. Let ’em talk. That’s OK. Look, this is not a Trump rally. Let ’em holler. No one’s paying attention” said Biden as no one was listening to him speak. solasatura.com

HINGHAM - Massachusetts driver avoids squirrel: then crashes into historic home built by Abraham Lincoln’s ancestor. Officers were called to the Samuel Lincoln Cottage on North Street at 6:35 AM on July 22, the police report said. The cottage was constructed in 1650. solasatura.com

PORT CHARLOTTE - Florida woman accused of skinny-dipping in homeowner's pool. The man who lives at the residence told officers he thought something was amiss when he found clothing strewn across his lanai. He then saw the naked stranger. The police identified the dipper as Heather A. Kennedy, 42. solasatura.com

BANGOR - Cocaine disguised as a 100 pound chocolate cake seized from vehicle in Maine. A coked out woman driving erratically is now facing felony charges over cocaine cooked into a cake that was seized from her car, the Maine Drug Enforcement Agency said on Wednesday. solasatura.com

PALMDALE - DirecTV customer: Driver pulled over in California had satellite dish mounted on hood. The highway patrol Antelope Valley station said that Officer Tim Caton stopped a Toyota Prius on a local freeway after taking note of the large satellite dish was mounted right in front of the windshield. solasatura.com

WASHINGTON - Lefty Democrat hits Jeff Bezos over space trip: wants him to pay fair share of taxes. “Am I supposed to be impressed that a billionaire went to space while he paid zero federal income tax and the losers like me stayed home” Sen. Bernie Sanders tweeted. solasatura.com

NASHVILLE - Dolly Parton, 75, recreates iconic Playboy cover for husband’s birthday. “Today is July 20th. It's for Carl on his birthday, you are probably wondering why I’m dressed like this. Well, it is for my husband” the 'Jolene, Jolene, Jolene' singer said in a video posted to Twitter on Tuesday. solasatura.com

WASHINGTON - Dr. Anthony Fauci and Sen. Rand Paul traded barbs in a heated exchange at a US Senate hearing Tuesday about whether or not the NIH funded gain-of-function research at a Wuhan lab. "If anybody is lying here, it is you" the Tony tells Paul in shouting match. solasatura.com